Will: Well, actually, it's about my cousin. His sister. She's 13.
Ms. Rinkoff: Is she pregnant?
Carlton: Hey, that's my sister you're talking about.
Ms. Rinkoff: I'm sorry to say it, but that's reality. These days more and more teenage girls are having sex.
Will: They certainly don't go to our school.
Ms. Rinkoff: Look, we can't control people's actions but we can help kids make wise choices, not stupid ones. Here. Here's a pamphlet called The Truth about Sex.
Will: Thank you very much.
Ms. Rinkoff: Nope, wait a minute. And here's one about the prevention of pregnancy. Here's one about AIDS. And here's one about dealing with your emotions.
Will: Sure a lot of stuff to read.
Ms. Rinkoff: Yes, I know. That's why I think this is something your parents should be discussing with you and your cousin.
Will: That's not likely with Uncle Phil. He won't let us watch Snow White 'cause she lives with seven dwarfs. Thank you.

Ms. Rinkoff: Not so fast. I think it's wonderful you have information for your cousin, but what about you?
Carlton: Uh, l practice abstinence. But I think I've got that down and I'm ready to move on.

Will: Now, somebody in this house needs to talk about sex and it ain't one of us.
Philip: But that only leaves... Oh, God, tell me it's Geoffrey.
Vivian: I think it's our not-so-little girl. Okay, kids. Your father and I need to talk alone.

Will: Hey, look, Uncle Phil. Now, just remember that sex is as natural as breathing. And I'm gonna hold my breath till I'm married.

Will: Well, G, on a scale of one to ten, I'd say I'm about a 53. And that's fully clothed.
Geoffrey: But aren't you dressed a bit early for your date?
Will: Oh, I'm not going on a date, I'm going on a phone call.
Geoffrey: That's what I call safe sex.

Will: [on the phone] Yes. Hello. Mrs. Seger? Yes. How are you and Mr. Seger this fine afternoon? Yes. If it's not too much trouble might I speak with your lovely daughter, Cynthia? Yes. Thank you very much. Yeah. What's up, baby? [Ashley and a classmate walk in the room] Yeah, this your suntanned Superman. Hey, what do you say the three of us get together this weekend? You, me and your red tube top. Yeah. Well, if I blow in your ear, will you... [sees Ashley] Help me with my geography report on Alaska? Yeah. [quietly, away from Ashley] You see, Alaska was up there all cold and lonely and along comes the United States all warm and full of bulging mountain ranges. So, the United States says: "You know, I'm thinking of laying a pipeline. Are you interested?" I'll see you Saturday night.

Kevin: Wow, your cousin even makes sandwiches cool.
Ashley: Yeah. He's the coolest. Except when he wears his shower cap and runs through the sprinklers.

Carlton: Will, I'm trying to keep Hilary from embarrassing all of us in front of the whole Republican Party.
Vivian: Hilary, are you joining the Republican Party?
Hilary: No, I'm going to it. Arnold Schwarzenegger's having a pool party. I can't decide if I got the right suit.
Will: Oh, darn. Now Arnold's gonna have to return his.
Vivian: I kind of like it.
Philip: I do, too. That's a good-looking hat.
Vivian: It's Hilary's new bathing suit.
Philip: When fish ride bicycles.

Ashley: So, what did you get for your first question?
Kevin: J. Edgar Hoover. What did you get?
Ashley: Twelve. Aren't we doing math?
Kevin: l thought we were doing history. My palms are sweaty.
Ashley: Is your heart beating fast, too?
Kevin: Yeah. And I kind of feel like you do after the Teacup Ride. You think I got the flu?
Ashley: Do you want some Children's Tylenol?
Kevin: No. I think I'd feel better if could kiss you.

Hilary: This one is so cute.
Ashley: I don't want to be cute tonight, Hilary. I've always been cute. I'm up to here with cute.
Hilary: Ashley, talk to me. This isn't just about clothes, is it? It's about something a lot more important. It's a bad hair day, isn't it?