Vivian: Well, bet you feel like a big dope, huh?
Philip: Mm-hmm. Vivian, I made a decision. I really want to be in the room when you give birth. Not just because you want me there but because I want to be the first person our baby sees, upside down.
Vivian: Oh, Philip, that's a beautiful thing to say. But, I'm afraid, honey, that I'm gonna have to kill you, anyway.
Philip: No, Viv. No, Vivian!

Carlton: Well, one down, three to go.
Hilary: Wait. Is anybody going to tell me what's going on?
Ashley: We're playing Whodunnit. See, one of us is the killer, and we have to find out who it is.
Carlton: I say, we already know. You and I were together in the other room, Ashley and now Geoffrey's worm chow. So that leaves only one suspect.
Will: [enters] Honey, I'm home. Hey, Lucy. Ethel, hello. Look, it's little Ricky. Oh, y'all should go check outside. Somebody was trampling through Aunt Viv's garden.
Carlton: Nice try, Will. You got Geoffrey, but you're not gonna get me alone. Come on, Ashley, we're going to the bathroom.
Will: What is he talking about? I ain't kill nobody.
Hilary: Yeah, and George Bush is really looking forward to playing with his grandchildren.
Will: Man, this is whack. Don't nobody believe me. But I bet you do, right?