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‘A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

311. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

Aired November 23, 1992

When Will substitutes for Uncle Phil at Aunt Viv's Lamaze class, he meets his favorite sports writer, Danny Mitchell (Vanessa Williams).

Quote from Philip

Philip: You ready for your Lamaze class?
Vivian: Philip, you mean, you actually wanna take me? I was waiting for some lame excuse. Last week, you said your dog died.
Philip: He did.
Vivian: Philip, he died 20 years ago.
Philip: Still hurts.

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Quote from Will

Will: Wait a minute, here. Look, what is the matter with y'all? I mean, this is your mother. She's having a baby. Look, Aunt Viv, if I was one of your kids... I'd be short with a square head, but I'd be more than happy to be your coach.

Quote from Will

Danny: I can't take it! I can't take it! I can't take it! Oh.
[As Danny shakes Will, he crawls away and sticks his head out the sun roof]
Will: Help!
Man: [o.s.] Sorry, buddy, there ain't no doctor out here.
Will: Hey, man, I don't need a doctor, I need an exorcist.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, hey, hey. Come on, Aunt Viv. Now this is the most straight-up, honest dude I know. The day that he lies to you, may all my hair fall out.
Philip: Thank you, Will. Come on, sweetheart, we don't want to be late.
Vivian: Okay.
Philip: Okay, let me get the bags here. [groans]
Vivian: Philip. Philip, what's the matter?
Philip: It's my back, went out. You know, I think maybe if I could lay down on the couch for a couple of hours you know? [groans]
Will: Oh, my God, is my hairline receding?

Quote from Philip

Vivian: Freeze, bubble-butt!
Will: Oh, this could get ugly.
Vivian: Philip, what do you have to say for yourself?
Philip: Uh... Uh... Uh...
Will: Good answer, Admiral Stockdale.
Vivian: Philip, this is very important to me. I mean, after all, you missed all the other births of your other children.
Philip: Well, it wasn't my fault. Fathers weren't allowed in the delivery room back then.
Vivian: Well, they are now, and I would like you to share this experience.
Philip: Well, I intend to. I will be pacing up and down in the waiting room where a man's supposed to be.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Ah, here's our little mother. There we go, madam, a nice glass of milk. Got to keep our strength up, eh?
Vivian: Back off, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Oh, pop a Midol.
Vivian: Geoffrey, I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset with Mr. Banks, that's all. He refuses to be my Lamaze coach. So I'm gonna need one of you kids to go with me.
Ashley: Sorry, homework.
Carlton: Tennis lesson.
Hilary: I just don't want to.
Geoffrey: Madam, are you sure you want another one?

Quote from Will

Danny: Will, what's so funny?
Will: It's just that a dude named Danny Mitchell is my favorite sportswriter.
Danny: Well, you know, I could introduce you.
Will: Word?
Danny: Hey, how you doing?
Will: You're the Danny Mitchell? Wait, hold it. I heard Charles Barkley on the radio talking about him and Danny was gonna rumble in the parking lot after the Laker game.
Danny: He won't show up, that wuss.

Quote from Vivian

Philip: I showed up, didn't I?
Vivian: Yeah, Philip, for all the wrong reasons. What is your problem, honey? Having a baby is spiritual, and wonderful, and miraculous.
Philip: Oh, it doesn't sound miraculous. It sounds yucky.
Vivian: Well, you should have thought about that seven months ago before that second bottle of wine, Philip.

Quote from Will

Will: I'll stay here and help you out.
Danny: Great. Will, I guess I owe you one. You know what? I am covering the Laker game on Saturday night.
Will: You want to watch from the press box? From the press box? [gasps] Okay, I can't breathe.
Danny: Okay, come on. Lie back here. Okay, take it slow. Take it slow. Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply. Okay, focus. Focus with me.

Quote from Will

Danny: Nothing for you, Will?
Will: No, thanks. I'm still tripping over that game. It was hype. Like, Worthy passes to Vlade. Vlade back to Byron Scott. Byron Scott back to Vlade. Vlade gets the ball back to Worthy. Worthy gets it, stuffs, pop. The Lakers win the game! The Lakers win the game!
Danny: You know what the high point of the game was for me, huh?
Will: What? When you punched Jack Nicholson in the nose for touching your stomach?

Quote from Will

Danny: Uh-oh.
Will: What? What's the matter?
Danny: My water broke.
Will: Oh, that's cool. We got another one, right here in the fridge.
Danny: No, no. I mean, I think I'm having the baby.

Quote from Will

Will: Help! Help! Damn you. I said, "Help!" Hey, is there a doctor in the parking lot?
Man: [o.s.] I'm a doctor.
Will: Thank God. Look, Doc, I got a lady in here having a baby. Yeah, you're going to have to climb over that car. That's good. All right, come on. Wait, yo, look out. Don't, man. [car horn; skidding sound; thud] Is there a doctor for the doctor?

Quote from Will

Philip: Hear you had a pretty full night, too, huh?
Will: Oh, man. Uncle Phil, I got to tell you, when Danny went into labor, man, I was trying to get the heck out of there.
Philip: I heard that.
Will: But then it was, like... All of a sudden, it was a little alive wiggly thing, you know? Ten fingers, and ten toes, and everything. It was so small. I was the first person the baby saw. You know, upside down.
Philip: Sounds like quite an experience, Will.
Will: It was. Well, I'm gonna go give Danny a call at the hospital. See how little Jackie Robinson Mitchell is doing, huh?

Quote from Will

Geoffrey: No, no, don't, please. Please, don't shoot. [screams]
Hilary: What's going on in here? Oh, my God. Geoffrey, don't move. There's a dart on your forehead.
Geoffrey: Really? I hadn't noticed.
Ashley: Look, Carlton, Geoffrey's been shot.
Carlton: Cool.
Geoffrey: You people don't pay me enough for this.
Carlton: Quiet, Geoffrey, you're dead.
Geoffrey: Then you couldn't possibly feel me do this.

Quote from Will

Will: Good, Aunt Vivian. Good, Aunt Vivian. Here, beg for a Scooby Snack. [barks]
Vivian: Cut it out. I'm trying to practice my breathing for Lamaze class.
Will: I don't know, Aunt Viv. Seem to me all that heavy breathing is what got you in this mess in the first place.
Vivian: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Quote from Will

Will: Mm, mm, mm.
Philip: And what's your problem?
Will: Oh, don't be trying to make up with me now. I'm all pregnant. My feet, my back, and stuff hurt, and you being all insensitive.

Quote from Will

Will: Aunt Viv, it was a joke. You can't take a joke?
Vivian: Come on, Will. I'm gonna be doing all the work. All you have to do is cheer me on. Come on.
Will: Well, that's cool. [sings] Go, Vivian. Get busy, have a baby. See you later.

Quote from Will

Will: Whoa, Aunt Viv, who is she? Man, she is all that. She's fine. She's one of The Fat Boys.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Hi, Danny.
Danny: Hey, Viv.
Vivian: How are you?
Danny: Hey, you know, can you do me a favor? I have not seen my feet since Lent. Can you tell me, do my shoes match?
Vivian: Uh... No.
Danny: Damn.

Quote from Will

Danny: Who's the designated hitter?
Vivian: This is my nephew.
Will: How you doing? I'm Will.
Danny: Danny Mitchell.
Will: So I guess your husband will be showing up any minute, huh?
Danny: No, he's in Mexico.
Will: Oh, on vacation?
Danny: No, on his secretary. But don't worry, he's not having a good time. I filled his thong with BenGay.
Will: Remind me to stay on your good side, Danny.

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