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‘The Transporter Malfunction’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Big Bang Theory: The Transporter Malfunction

520. The Transporter Malfunction

Aired March 29, 2012

When Penny buys Leonard and Sheldon "Star Trek" collectibles, Sheldon listens to his "Inner Spock" and breaks his toy. Meanwhile, Raj believes he's found his future wife when he asks his parents to set him on a date.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Once you open the box it loses its value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.

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Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.
Spock Doll: I come from a factory in Taiwan.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah, it was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. It felt pretty good.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What is the truth?
Sheldon: My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. And when the toy broke I switched it for yours. Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
Leonard: Okay, that I believe.

Quote from Raj

Raj: No, I'm not gay. If anything, I'm metrosexual.
Dr. Koothrappali: What's that?
Raj: It means that I like women, as well as their skin-care products.

Quote from Raj

Lakshmi: I'm gay.
Raj: Like dude-on-dude but with women?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Everyone knows that I'm our group's resident cut-up.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: 50% of marriages end in divorce, but 100% of sundae bars end in happiness.

Quote from Bernadette

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Metrosexual, my ass.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Yeah, I hate wedding receptions. I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins. Slip on the ring, disappear and everyone goes home.

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