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‘The Spoiler Alert Segmentation’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

615. The Spoiler Alert Segmentation

Aired February 7, 2013

When Sheldon spoils a book for Leonard, he moves in with Penny. Meanwhile, as Howard and Bernadette spend a weekend in Vegas, Raj stays with Mrs. Wolowitz.

Quote from Howard

Howard: If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt to keep you there the rest of your life.


Quote from Bernadette

Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What if you could find a roommate who was a scientist and already familiar and comfortable with your ways.
Sheldon: That would be ideal. If a person like that existed, I would sign on, no further questions asked.
Amy: Great. Here I am!
Sheldon: Wait. Here who is where?
Amy: Me. Aren't I your perfect roommate?
Sheldon: Um...
Amy: Think about it, Sheldon. I'm not a stranger, we're both intellectually compatible, I'm willing to chauffeur you around town, and your personality quirks, which others find abhorrent and rage-inducing, I find cute as a button. What do you think?
Sheldon: Um.
Amy: Tell me one reason why this isn't a fantastic idea.
Sheldon: Um.
Amy: See? You can't. I'm gonna go see if Leonard's room is big enough for my water bed.
Sheldon: Um.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Feelings? What am I, a hippie at a love-in?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh really, Leonard? Are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?
Leonard: Hissy fits? I have hissy fits?
Sheldon: Yes, and I have a theory why. Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Check this out. I took the liberty of scripting a new outgoing voice mail message for both of us.
Sheldon: Hello. This is Sheldon.
Amy: And this is Amy.
Sheldon: We're not home right now.
Amy: 'cause we out dropping science, son.
Both: Leave a message.
Amy: Beep.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Oh my God. She's not going to bathe me, is she?

Quote from Amy

Amy: Then what the hell, Sheldon? We have been going out for over two years, and I have been nothing but patient with you. I watch your dopey space movies. I signed your ridiculous contract. I even stopped wearing lip gloss 'cause you said it made my mouth look too slippery. I am the best girlfriend youre ever gonna have. You give me one good reason why I can't live here.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: I suppose there's no choice but to face the crying, angry accusations, and the high pitch wails of despair.
Penny: Yeah and who knows how Amy will react.

Quote from Raj

Raj: How do you sleep in these things? Silk pajamas on satin sheets? I slid out of the bed like 3 times.

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