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‘The Solder Excursion Diversion’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Solder Excursion Diversion

919. The Solder Excursion Diversion

Aired March 31, 2016

Amy is shocked at a revelation from Sheldon after she buys him a new laptop. Also, Koothrappali sells out Leonard and Wolowitz after they lie to their wives in order to attend an early screening of a movie.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I got here as quickly as I could.
Sheldon: You're too late.
*Sheldon plays "Taps" and drapes a cloth over his laptop."
Amy: Sheldon, this is silly.
Sheldon: You got emotional when that lab monkey died.
Amy: That lab monkey told me he loved me in sign language.

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Quote from Amy

Amy: Sheldon, why don't you get a new computer? You know that one's out-of-date.
Sheldon: Oh, but I like this computer.
Amy: The video is failing, and the sound is cutting out.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
Amy: The video is failing, and the sound is cutting out.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, one more time. The sound is cutting out. (Amy holds up a sign) I can't read that. The video is failing.
Amy: Get a new computer.
Sheldon: What?
Amy: Get a new computer.
Sheldon: What? (Answering phone) Hello?
Amy: Get a new computer!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: This is cool. When was the last time you and I built something together?
Howard: Scientifically? A little over a year ago. LEGOs? Last week in my room.
Leonard: If there was a Nobel Prize for Millennium Falcons that fall apart when you pick them up, we'd be set.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Well, the guy at the store said this one is great.
Sheldon: Oh. Oh, the guy. Oh, pardon me. I didn't realize you'd spoken to the guy. Yeah, tell me, did the guy choose one with a 4K display and a Thunderbolt port?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah? Did the guy make sure that this has a one terabyte solid-state drive?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah? Oh, well, was this guy Rick from Computer Solutions on Colorado?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, he does know his stuff.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: I suppose I should set this up. Or would you like to rob me of that, too?
Amy: Knock it off or I'll start making W-H sounds for words that just have a W.
Sheldon: You wouldn't.
Amy: Whatch me.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Sheldon, just tell me.
Sheldon: It might be easier to show you.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: We'd have to take your car.
Amy: All right.
Sheldon: And I'm gonna need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
Amy: Well, I signed one before we slept together. Why not now?

Quote from Howard

Cinema Worker: Hey, guys, thank you for being a part of our test screening. You're about to be one of the first audiences to see Suicide Squad.
Leonard: Hey, you were right.
Howard: Well, I keep telling you, good things happen to bad people.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Oh. You know what? I'm gonna let them know that I'm here with you and that they're busted.
Penny: No. You know what? Don't, don't. Let's let them think they're getting away with it.
Bernadette: Yeah, let's see how deep a hole they can dig for themselves.
Penny: Mmm-hmm.
Raj: Interesting. I mean, it's not testicles on a cryostat, but I like it.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: Okay. Okay, how about this? They don't know you're here with us, so you hide in the closet. When they show up, we'll hear whatever their dumb story is about where they were, we'll pretend to believe them and just when they think they got away with it, you jump out.
Penny: Yeah, that's pretty good.
Raj: I love it, I'll be all like, "Busted!", and they'll be like, "What?", and then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!" Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't make out with me, either.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: So, no one else knows about this?
Sheldon: Only you.
Amy: Thank you for trusting me.
Sheldon: What good is having a girlfriend if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her?
Amy: That's me, your emotional outhouse.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You look amazing. I mean, this resolution is remarkable.
Amy: (On Skype) I really had to go home for this?
Sheldon: Yes, but it's like you're right here in the room.
Amy: And yet, I'm not.
Sheldon: But I feel like I could reach out and touch you.
Amy: And yet, you can't.
Sheldon: I know.

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: Can we really help?
Howard: While we finish soldering these boards, it'd be great if you guys could wrap these pipe fittings with Teflon tape.
Leonard: I'll show you how to do one.
Penny: Hey, wouldn't it be funny if after all your years of hard work, I'm the one who makes a scientific breakthrough? (To Bernadette) He doesn't think that's funny.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Penny says they're having fun working on the prototype.
Howard: Remember when her fun was nightclubs and drinking games?
Leonard: I know. I'm lowering the bar so slowly. This time next year she'll have a coin collection.

Quote from Leonard

Cinema Worker: Excuse me. You guys interested in a free screening of an upcoming movie?
Leonard: Oh. Sorry, we can't.
Howard: Well, hang on. What movie is it?
Cinema Worker: Oh, I can't tell you. But it does star Will Smith.
Howard: Wait. I bet it's Suicide Squad. Let's check it out.
Leonard: What about the girls?
Howard: Penny just said they're having fun. Honestly, you want to wrap tape around a bunch of pipe fittings all afternoon?
Leonard: Okay, we'll take 'em. But, I swear, if it's Will Smith in Shark Tale 2, it better be at least as good as the original.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: I mean, it's crazy, isn't it? I moved here from Nebraska to be an actress, and now I'm sitting in an engineering lab at Caltech helping to build a prototype for a high-tech guidance system.
Bernadette: It is crazy. It's also crazy that I've made fourteen of these and you've made three.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: Since when do you work on weekends?
Raj: I'm an astrophysicist. The stars don't take a day off.
Penny: You were home alone and had no one to play with?
Raj: Well, the cleaning lady was there, but she doesn't like me.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Okay. Would you ladies please leave the room for a moment?
Penny: Why?
Raj: I need to rub my genitals on their prototype.
Bernadette: What's going on?
Raj: Leonard and Howard dont have a flat. They went to the movies. Look.
Penny: Un-freakin' believable.
Bernadette: Son of a bitch!

Quote from Amy

Amy: It's okay, Sheldon. You know, I've saved a lot of weird things, too.
Sheldon: Like what?
Amy: Well, um, did you know I have a microscope slide with a little bit of tissue from the first brain I ever dissected?
Sheldon: I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years.
Amy: It's not a contest.

Quote from Raj

Penny: Okay, here they come.
Bernadette: Go hide.
Raj: Oh, man, when I come out of the closet, I'm gonna nail those guys! Yeah, I heard it. Shut up.

Quote from Penny

Raj: (Inside the closet) Don't forgive them. Stay mad at them.
Howard: What is he doing in there?
Raj: Busting you.
Bernadette: It's okay. They apologized.
Penny: Yeah, it's fine.
Raj: Well this is kind of anti-climactic.
Howard: You know what wasn't anti-climactic? The end of the movie. Get this.
Raj: No spoilers. No spoilers.
Penny: And he's back in the closet.


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