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35Quotes from ‘The Sales Call Sublimation’

The Big Bang Theory: The Sales Call Sublimation

912. The Sales Call Sublimation

Aired January 7, 2016

Penny gets more than she bargained for when Leonard agrees to meet with a psychiatrist on her behalf. Also, Sheldon and Koothrappali collaborate on an astronomical discovery, and Wolowitz and Bernadette can't believe what they are feeling after Stuart moves out.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Perhaps I should explain. While working with Koothrappali, we discovered an asteroid, and I named it after you.
Amy: Oh, Sheldon, thank you. That's so romantic. But what about Rajesh? He was okay with you choosing the name?
Sheldon: Well, it took a little negotiating, but I wore him down. Uh, we get the asteroid, and if you and I have children, they all have to be named Rajesh.
Amy: All of them?
Sheldon: Even the girls.
Amy: Okay, I think I know what to say now.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You know what'd be nice? Name it after your girlfriends. Show them how much you care.
Raj: That is a great idea.
Sheldon: It's perfect. It appears romantic, but it's really just a rock in space that gets me out of Valentine's Day forever.
Raj: So, uh, what were you thinking? Combine their names?
Sheldon: I like it. Yeah, we'll take the "Am" from Amy and, uh, the "Y" from Emily.
Raj: That's just Amy.
Sheldon: Exactly. See how well we work together?

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: You know, once we get the house back to ourselves, we can be romantic in any room we want.
Bernadette: Great. I can finally show you where the laundry room is.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Come on, a medium-sized asteroid is still an interesting discovery.
Sheldon: I suppose it could end up on a collision course with Earth and destroy life as we know it.
Raj: You dream different than me.

Quote from Penny

Penny: And in double-blind studies, Placinex proved extremely effective in treating all kinds of anxiety. Actually, funny story. The boys in the lab were worried about getting FDA approval for Placinex; they started taking it, stopped worrying.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm glad to see you made it safely. How's your hotel?
Amy: It's not the best Best Western I've been to, but I'd say it's the third best Best Western I've been to.
Sheldon: I know how you feel. The Best Buy by my house is only the third best Best Buy.
They have the best buys, but having the best buys isn't the only thing that makes a Best Buy the best Best Buy.
Amy: What makes a best Best Buy the best Best Buy?
Sheldon: Mm, that's a great question. I like when they're next to a Chipotle.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Enjoy the neurobiology conference.
Amy: I will. I wish you were here.
Sheldon: At a neurobiology conference? What a mean thing to say.
Amy: Okay, I'm glad you're not here?
Sheldon: Aww, you always know just what to say after I tell you what to say.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You could talk to her, and maybe if it comes up, you could ask if she's heard about the drug.
Leonard: What if I get caught?
Raj: Fear of failure!
Howard: Lack of confidence!
Sheldon: Kind of a wuss!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Fine, I'll do it. But not because of them, because I love you.
Penny: Thank you.
Raj: Pushover.
Howard: Spineless.
Sheldon: Still hasn't bought milk even though I told him two days ago!

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Raj: Uh, making sure the telescope's camera is white-field balanced.
Sheldon: Hmm. What are you doing now?
Raj: Still making sure the telescope's camera is white-field balanced.
Sheldon: Oh, I see. How about now?
Raj: Now I'm making sure the telescope's camera is white-field balanced and wishing you had a coloring book.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Okay. Now, what I'm hearing is that you feel that I sometimes take too long to express myself, and you wish I'd be more succinct.
Penny: You're only hearing that because I cannot roll my eyes any louder.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: So, what do you think we should do with this room?
Howard: Well, I was thinking a home theater or a gaming room - you know, like a man cave.
Bernadette: Why can't it be a woman cave?
Howard: As long as it has a home theater, a video game system and you're not allowed in it, you can call it whatever you want.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Yeah, okay, whatever it takes to keep you busy for a few hours.
Sheldon: Found one.
Raj: No, you didn't. There are millions of data points there.
Sheldon: But, look, an optical transient.
Raj: Yeah, maybe that is something. How did you find that?
Sheldon: It wasn't difficult. You know how when you see prime numbers, they appear red, but when they're twin primes, they're pink and smell like gasoline?
Raj: No.
Sheldon: Oh. I guess I'm a special boy. You know, sometimes when a boy is special, he gets a Fudgsicle. Which, by the way, tastes like the speed of light.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Good news, gentlemen. Amy's at a conference this weekend, which means I'm available to be entertained, hmm. As today's youth might put it: Who wants to get their Sheld-on?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, then it looks like we have a winner. Congratulations.
Raj: Well, I should warn you, it's just looking at data for hours and hours on a computer screen.
Sheldon: Uh, stop selling it, kid. You won.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: How was your day?
Penny: Oh, not good. Still couldn't get in to see Dr. Gallo.
Sheldon: A doctor? Well, I hope you're not contagious. I've got a weekend in the telescope room I've been excited about for almost three minutes.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I can be helpful. Give me something to do. You know, my father took me to work once, and in ten minutes I figured out who'd been stealing from the cash register.
It was my father. Yeah, Dad lost his job, but Mr. Hinckley gave me a Fudgsicle.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.
Dr. Gallo: Ah, it's my pleasure. I'm curious, are you related to Dr. Beverly Hofstadter?
Leonard: Uh, she's my mother. You know her?
Dr. Gallo: No, not personally, but I have read all of her books.
Leonard: Well, then you know her better than I do.
Dr. Gallo: Well, I'm not so sure about that. But I can tell you I do not agree with her theories on child rearing at all.
Leonard: Really? Any chance you find them cold, cruel and unsuitable for innocent little boys who just want to be happy?
Dr. Gallo: Well, I didn't want to say it-
Leonard: No, no, say it. Sing it. Rent a plane, write it in the sky.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: All right, well, after we talked about my issues with my mother - nothing too deep, just how she ruined my life - I told her about you and your drug; she said she'd be happy to meet you.
Penny: Really? Oh, you're the best husband ever!
Leonard: So you'll go to the Doctor Who convention with me next week?
Penny: I guess.
Leonard: Oh, I actually did hear your eyes roll that time.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: So I was thinking, maybe we can come up with a name for the asteroid by combining our names.
Sheldon: That's a great idea. I've got it. We'll call it "Cooper".
Raj: How is that both our names?
Sheldon: "Koo" from Koothrappali and "per" from Cooper.
Raj: Yeah, so it's, like, "Kooper" with a "K"?
Sheldon: Nah, you're right, that's dumb.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, great news. We discovered a medium-sized asteroid together.
Leonard: Wow, that's amazing! I'm in a pretty great mood today myself.
Sheldon: Okay. Guess we're gonna talk about you now.
Leonard: Well, we are, because Dr. Gallo made me realize that I'm a worthwhile person and that my feelings matter.
Raj: I learned that for free from a cat poster, but good for you.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: Good news. You're an asteroid.
Amy: Uh, please tell me what to say next.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: Boy, who would've thought when you asked me to move in and help take care of your mom, I'd still be here two years later?
Howard: No one.
Bernadette: Nobody thought that.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: Hmm. (looking around at the room)
Howard: What?
Stuart: I just have never been in this room while you're awake.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: And you know we get to name it.
Sheldon: We better choose a name no one can make fun of. Sir Frederick William Herschel didn't do Uranus any favors.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: What is happening? Are we missing him?
Bernadette: No, that's not what this feeling is. Is it?
Howard: Of course not. He drove us crazy. Like when you were gonna make that pie and Stuart ate all the blueberries.
Bernadette: And he tried to deny it, but his teeth were all purple.
Howard: That was pretty cute.
Bernadette: Yeah. Eww, we are missing him!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: What are you thinking of naming it?
Sheldon: I haven't settled on anything yet.
Raj: We haven't settled on anything yet.
Sheldon: All right, way to go, Cat Poster. You hang in there.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know, if anything, he's turning me into his mother. Before I did pharmaceutical sales, I was an actress. You know, I was pretty good. You know, girl-next-door type, but hot. Doable.
Dr. Gallo: Hmm.
Penny: And not only am I Leonard's mother, but we have this man-child living with us named Sheldon.
Dr. Gallo: Oh, Leonard talked a lot about him. I wasn't sure if he was real.
Penny: Yeah, he's as real as the fine I get when I use too much toilet paper.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Bernie and I are getting the house ready for the remodel. We could always use an extra pair of hands.
Sheldon: That sounds awful. Raj?
Raj: Uh, I've got time booked in the telescope room all weekend scanning for rogue planets. You're more than welcome to join me.
Sheldon: That's the one to beat, Leonard.
Leonard: Oh, if anything, I'm trying to get my Sheld-off.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Fine, you want something to do? There's about six months of data on this hard drive.
Why don't you go through it and see if you can spot any patterns or anomalies.
Sheldon: Yep, I'm on it. Hey, look at that! An Indian guy outsourcing a computer job to a white fella.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Oh, look. The teddy bear Stuart won the night we took him to the fair.
Howard: Oh, he was so excited.
Bernadette: Yeah. You know, no matter how hard they tried, they could not guess his age.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: (watching Howard and Bernadette sleep) I really miss this.

Quote from Penny

Howard: Well, what if you make an appointment as a patient? Then you'll get to talk to her.
Penny: Yeah, they already know I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
Raj: Oh. What if Leonard made an appointment and tried to lay some groundwork for you?
Penny: That's interesting.
Leonard: I'm not gonna make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?
Raj: Low self-esteem.
Howard: Social anxiety.
Sheldon: Sexual insecurity.
Leonard: None of that is true.
Penny: Uh, denial. See, sweetie, the list goes on and on.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: A medium-sized asteroid.
Sheldon: That's it? How common. That's the chicken fingers on the menu of space.
Raj: I kind of like chicken fingers.
Sheldon: Yeah, me, too. I was stuck for a metaphor.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Boy, when was the last time Stuart cleaned this place?
Howard: No kidding. Oh, okay, I'm about to suck something up. What do you think this object sounds like?
Bernadette: Howie, I don't want to play Lego, Toenail or Pill anymore.


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