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23Quotes from ‘The Retraction Reaction’

The Big Bang Theory: The Retraction Reaction

1102. The Retraction Reaction

Aired October 2, 2017

Leonard fears for his job when he gives a downbeat assessment of the state of physics research in a national radio interview. Meanwhile, Amy and Bernadette realize they both feel they have to hide success in their careers from their significant others.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: At the office, I have two assistants! I don't even know their names. I just call them Thing 1 and Thing 2.
Amy: I don't have assistants.
Bernadette: I guess that's one of the benefits of being in the private sector. That and all the money I make!

Quote from Penny

Howard: We're going to see Richard Feynman. Penny, Richard Feynman is an iconic phys-
Penny: I know who he is. Leonard dressed as him for Halloween last year.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Oh, hi, you wanted to see me?
Ms. Davis: Yes. I wanted to talk to you about the e-mail you sent me last night.
Leonard: I sent you an e-mail?
Ms. Davis: You bet you did. "Hello. Shalom and aloha from the grave of Richard Feynman."
Leonard: (groans) Oh, it's coming back to me.
Ms. Davis: "Please accept the following retraction: I know I said physics is dead, but it is the opposite of dead. If anything, it is undead, like a zombie. Speaking of which, if Richard Feynman came back as a zombie, I would totally let him bite me."
Leonard: Any chance that's the end?
Ms. Davis: "I got bit by a squirrel once. I had to get rabies shots. I cried so much, my mother said 'don't be a baby'. In conclusion, physics is great. Squirrels suck, and someday, I'm gonna put my mom in a cheap nursing home. Yours truly, XOXO, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."
Leonard: I-I-I can explain.
Ms. Davis: "P.S Can you come pick us up? The Uber driver won't open the door because Sheldon is covered in blue vomit."

Quote from Amy

Amy: The university has been throwing money at my study. With any luck, there'll be a brain disease with my name on it.
Bernadette: Fingers crossed.
Amy: Which is ironic, because if you had Fowler's palsy, you wouldn't be able to cross your fingers.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Uh, One dumpling left. Who wants it?
Amy: Maybe you should offer it to the pregnant lady.
Sheldon: And that would be..?
Bernadette: Me, Sheldon. I'm obviously pregnant.
Sheldon: Well, you never said it to my face. And the last time I assumed a woman was pregnant, it did not go over well.
Penny: Yeah, I'm still mad at you.
Sheldon: You were drinking water instead of wine. What was I supposed to think?

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Should he be saying that?
Raj: Uh, probably not.
Howard: Yeah, this is public radio. Doesn't he realize that dozens of people might hear him?

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Hi.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: Huh. Looks like you've been busy.
Sheldon: Oh, I have. Uh, dark matter, uh, reconciling gravity and quantum mechanics. Supersymmetry. I've figured out the biggest problems in physics today.
Amy: Wow, you solved them all?
Sheldon: No, I just, I figured out that they're the biggest problems.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: This is depressing. Do you have any alcohol around here?
Sheldon: Uh, not surprisingly, when Penny moved out, she took every last drop.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: You know, there's so much money in pharmaceuticals, we don't even wash out our old test tubes. We just throw 'em out and get new ones.
Amy: I just got a brand new, state-of-the-art fMRI machine.
Bernadette: Whoa, those things are so expensive.
Amy: I know! Sometimes I just lie down in there and take a nap. It's like a million dollar bunk bed.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I'm surprised Sheldon's not up here playing with all your new toys.
Amy: Actually, I haven't told him about it. We've been getting so much more funding than physics, he's been a little sensitive.
Bernadette: So you're just gonna hide your success from him?
Amy: I know. Am I terrible?
Bernadette: No. I do that, too! Howie thought my company retreat was in Boise? It was in Tahiti.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: That's such a relief. I mean, part of me was worried I was being unfair to Sheldon.
Bernadette: Take that part of yourself and hide it away. Just like I did with last year's bonus check that I didn't get.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Look, I know I screwed up, but it was only one interview. How much damage could it have caused?
Ms. Davis: Would you like for me to read you the e-mails from donors asking why are they giving us money if physics is a dead end?
Leonard: I didn't say it was a dead end. I just said that I was worried it might be.
Ms. Davis: So if I just said I was worried you might not have a job next week, how would you feel?
Leonard: Light-headed, and glad you asked me to sit down.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Read it back to me?
Leonard: Oh, hang on. "Yes, one might question the $20 billion "to build and run the Large Hadron Collider, but on the other hand..."
Sheldon: Okay. Um, oh, oh! "On the other hand, contrary to predictions, the collider didn't create a small black hole that devoured the Earth and life as we know it." So, money well spent.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Come on. You guys are physicists. Okay? You're always gonna be physicists. And sure, sometimes, the physics is hard, but isn't that what makes it boring?

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: I'm just saying that my research may actually change the world forever.
Bernadette: I hope it does. 'Cause I'm going to see that world from a yacht so big you could land a helicopter on it!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Oh, I've got something. I'm being interviewed on public radio this Friday.
Howard: Oh, cool. How come?
Leonard: Uh, the university is trying to get more funding for the physics department, so they want me to go out and talk it up.
Sheldon: Really? You? (Amy whispers to Sheldon) Well, they picked the right person for the job.
Leonard: Thank you.
Sheldon: (To Amy) I think he bought it.

Quote from Leonard

Ira Flatow: Hi, I'm Ira Flatow, and this is Science Friday. Joining me today is my guest physicist, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, to talk about all of the exciting research they're doing at Cal Tech.
Leonard: Thank you for having me. Whoa (chuckles) Could never get used to hearing myself in headphones. Is that really how I sound?
Ira Flatow: (chuckles) It is. It is.
Leonard: (deep voice): That is good to know.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Look, not all science pans out. You know, we've been hoping super-symmetry was true for decades, and finally, we built the Large Hadron Collider, which is supposed to prove it by finding these new particles, and it-it hasn't. And maybe super-symmetry, our last big idea, is simply wrong.
Leonard: Well, that sounds awful. Now I get why everyone hates me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, but I do have several bottles of Romulan ale that I bought at Comic-Con.
Leonard: Isn't that just vodka with blue dye in it?
Sheldon: First, physics, now Romulan ale. What else would you like to defecate on?

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey, I thought you were coming right back.
Leonard: I was, but we're both depressed, and decided to drown our sorrows.
Penny: With mouthwash? Man, that is so summer camp.
Sheldon: It's Romulan ale, from Star Trek.
Leonard: It was briefly legalized during the alliance between the Romulan Empire and the Federation at the time of the Dominion War.
Penny: Aw, now I'm depressed.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: You know, you're a successful woman. You should be able to brag about your accomplishments once in a while.
Amy: Well, so should you. I mean, the guys are never shy about bragging.
Bernadette: Tell me about it. Howie texts me every time his dog levels up in Warcraft.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: So you guys are upset because the collider thing disproved your theories?
Leonard: It's worse than that. It hasn't found anything in years, so we don't know if we're right, we don't know if we're wrong. We don't know where to go next.
Sheldon: All I know is it looks like I tongue-kissed Avatar.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: No, we don't need to be cheered up. It just turns out that physics is exactly like Lost. Started out great, and turns out just a big old waste of time.


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