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‘The Raiders Minimization’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Raiders Minimization

704. The Raiders Minimization

Aired October 10, 2013

When Amy points out a flaw in the plot of one of Sheldon's favorite movies, he vows revenge by ruining something she likes. Meanwhile, Leonard finds a way to manipulate Penny into doing anything for him, while Raj and Stuart set up online dating profiles.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me, so I'm trying to find something beloved of hers and ruin that.
Howard: Because her life wasn't enough?

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Quote from Amy

Amy: I love Little House. It made me want to live on a farm so much I tried to milk my cat. That tangy bowl of Cheerios was not worth the stitches.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: In the last hour 162 people have read our profiles. How many of them have sent us messages?
Stuart: Combined?
Raj: Yes.
Stuart: Zero.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: You've spent time with Amy, can you think of anything she's fond of that has a bunch of flaws she hasn't noticed?
Leonard: ... I got to go.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: There's chapters about potty training, bed wetting and masturbation. Basically, if something came out of me, she wrote about it!

Quote from Raj

Stuart: Is make-up really necessary?
Raj: When somebody looks at your dating profile, the first thing they see is your picture. I just want to make sure you look fun and full of life, not like a body they just pulled out the river.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Not even the one on the breast feeding crisis?
Leonard: It was not a crisis. Apparently I favored the left one, she got a little lopsided.
Penny: Oh my God, you still go left!

Quote from Leonard

Penny: I just want to know why a five-year-old boy puts on his mom's make-up and wears balloon boobies.
Leonard: They weren't boobies, they were muscles. And the make-up was green, I was pretending to be The Hulk.
Penny: You were wearing her bra.
Leonard: That was to keep my muscles from sagging. Can we please stop talking about this?!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Did you get to the chapter where she staged the Easter Egg Hunt with no eggs to see how long I'd keep looking? The answer, by the way, June.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: More like Little House of the Prepostorous.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: I don't think I've ever felt so rejected. And I had a rescue dog that ran back to the pound!

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: When you told me I was going to be "losing my virginity", I didn't think you meant showing me Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time.
Sheldon: My apologies. I chose my words poorly. I should have said you were about to have your world rocked on my couch.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: What did you put as the one word description of yourself?
Stuart: I put unobjectionable. But now I hear it out loud, it just seems like I'm being cocky.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: I was just thinking about my mom and how sad my childhood was.
Bernadette: Yeah, I bet it sucked. I'm gonna take a bath and you do the dishes.
Howard: How about I take a bath with you? See what happens?
Bernadette: Here's what's going to happen: I'm going to take a bath, you're gonna do the dishes.
Howard: That's it? No compassion?
Bernadette: "Aww, poor Howie". We good? I'm going to take a bath.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: That's right, ladies. For all you know, I'm confident and fun to be around.

Quote from Stuart

Raj: Okay, let's try it again. But this time, pretend the girl you want to meet doesn't want to hurt you.
Stuart: I don't think I can give you that.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Attention all shoppers, my business is open for business!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Bernadette told me everything. Now you don't get the left or the right.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Alright, I'm mad at you. Not only did you ruin Raiders for me, you might have ruined the whole franchise. Except for the fourth one, which was bad before you got your mitts on it.

Quote from Raj

Stuart: What did you put for your best feature?
Raj: My parents' money. What did you put for your best feature?
Stuart: I put "not applicable".


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