‘The Pirate Solution’ Quotes

304. The Pirate Solution
Aired October 12, 2009
When Raj faces the threat of deportation if he doesn't find a job, he must turn to Sheldon for help. Meanwhile, the newly coupled Leonard and Penny are stuck with Howard as a third wheel.
Quote from Raj
Leonard: I've always been a little confused about this. Why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like God.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!
Quote from Raj
Raj: I'm going to be deported. Sent home in disgrace. Exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay or, as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Yes, since their relationship became carnal, Penny has updated his designated term of endearment, distinguishing him from those she calls 'sweetie,' usually as an attempt to soften a thinly-veiled insult.
Penny: You're boring people, sweetie.
Sheldon: Although sometimes, she omits the veil entirely.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.
Quote from Raj
Rajesh: Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim buck naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection, than work with you.
Quote from Penny
Penny: Honey, you don't have to thank me every time we have sex, sweetie.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: All right, we're going to be designing an experiment to look for the annihilation spectrum resulting from dark matter collisions in space.
Raj: Ooh, dark matter. We better bring a flashlight, ha, ha.
Sheldon stares at Raj.
Raj: I was making a joke.
Sheldon: I'm the boss. I make the jokes.
Raj: Sorry, go ahead and make your joke.
Sheldon: This is not the time for joking.
Quote from Raj
Sheldon: *Knock Knock Knock* Raj. *Knock Knock Knock* Raj. *Knock Knock Knock* Raj.
*Raj answers the door*
Raj: I'm busy.
Sheldon: Doing what? *Raj does his finger trick again* Okay, you've made your point.
Quote from Raj
Leonard: What have you been doing for the past six months?
Raj: You know, checking email, updating my Facebook status, messing up Wikipedia entries. Did you know Netflix lets you stream movies on your computer now?
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Like the subordinate male protagonist in countless action movies who disappears halfway through the second reel, I have returned to save the day. [pause]. Odd, he's usually met by cheers.
Quote from Raj
Sheldon: I want you to work for me again.
Raj: 'For you' or 'with you'?
Sheldon: In this context, 'for me' can mean 'with me'.
Raj: All right, but I have some conditions.
Sheldon: I reject them all.
Raj: I'll take the job. See you Monday.
Quote from Raj
Raj: I don't wanna go back to India, it's hot and loud, and there are so many people! You have no idea, they're everywhere.
Quote from Raj
Howard: What do you mean you didn't get the job? How could you not get it?
Raj: You know, he's British, I'm Indian. Ever since Gandhi, they haven't liked us very much.
Leonard: Are you saying that he discriminated against you? Because we should file a complaint.
Raj:That's okay, a complaint's been filed.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: Pardon me, Sheldon, but how many reels until the protagonist gets to his point?