‘The Military Miniaturization’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

1002. The Military Miniaturization
Aired September 26, 2016
Howard finally meets Air Force representative Colonel Williams to discuss the guidance system project. Meanwhile, Bernadette is upset to find out that somebody at work revealed she is expecting.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.
Quote from Penny
Penny: You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: Are you kidding? I've always been treated differently! Look at me. Listen to me. I mean, the first thought when you see me isn't, "That's a scientist." It's, "I wonder if her mommy knows where she is."
Quote from Raj
Raj: Yeah, this military guy showed up at Howard's door. He was terrifying.
Sheldon: Oh no, what did he say?
Raj: He gave me his business card and asked me to please pass it along to Howard.
Sheldon: That doesn't sound terrifying.
Raj: Not to a white guy born here, no. To a brown guy whose name has a lot of syllables in it - terrifying.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: I'm worried about Howard. Ever since that guy from the Air Force showed up, he's been a nervous wreck.
Penny: We work at a giant pharmaceutical company. Get him some anti-anxiety meds.
Bernadette: He won't take any pills that aren't chewable and shaped like a Flintstone.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: We don't need Howard's cousin, no. We have me.
Leonard: You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a know-it-all.
Sheldon: I am not a know-it-all. I'm a person who knows lots of things and likes to correct other people when they're wrong.
Leonard: That's the definition of being a know-it-all.
Sheldon: Or in German, a Besserwisser.
Quote from Sheldon
Marty: Howard, why is he yelling at me?
Sheldon: All right, you were on Jeopardy. Allow me to Alex Trebek this and put it in the form of a question: Who has been a complete waste of our time?
Howard: Marty, let me call you back.
Leonard: Someday, when I'm up on murder charges, you'll be hearing from me.
Sheldon: You don't need him. I'll represent you.
Quote from Leonard
Sheldon: I don't understand why I can't talk at this meeting.
Leonard: 'Cause when you talk, it enrages people.
Quote from Howard
Colonel Williams: So, which one of you is the brains behind all this?
Howard: It's a group effort, but I guess if we had to pick a main brain, it would be me.
(Sheldon whimpers)
Quote from Sheldon
Colonel Williams: And because of the quantum vortices, this can run perpetually?
Leonard: Exactly. Yeah, you have a good grasp of the physics.
Colonel Williams: Well, I'm a scientist by training.
Howard: Really? You're a physicist?
Colonel Williams: Better. I'm an engineer.
(Sheldon stops himself from speaking)
Quote from Sheldon
Howard: I'm not even sure that's possible.
Colonel Williams: Well, I ran it by some colleagues at MIT, and they thought they could get it done in four months.
Howard: Four months?
Sheldon: Yeah, we'll do it in two! (laughs) Hi, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I'm the actual brains behind this project. Also, engineers aren't real scientists, MIT's a trade school, and the Death Star is from Star Wars, not Star Trek! But otherwise, thank you for your service.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: Do you know what? It's just a research project. The most important job in the world is gonna be raising this child. It's all I need to give my life meaning.
Penny: Oh, that's so beautiful.
Bernadette: You believe me? Oh, good. Eleven more chumps like you, I'll have the jury eating out of my hand.
Quote from Howard
Howard: I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.