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‘The Jerusalem Duality’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Jerusalem Duality

112. The Jerusalem Duality

Aired April 14, 2008

Sheldon is rattled when a 15-year-old physics prodigy, Dennis Kim, visits the university. Sheldon loses faith in his own work in the presence of the boy genius, so he decides to leave theoretical physics behind and focus on obtaining the Nobel Peace Prize. Concerned by Sheldon's career turn, the guys seek to derail Dennis Kim's progress.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Engineering. Where the noble semiskilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science.

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Quote from Raj

Raj: Can you believe it! He watched me work for 10 minutes and than he tried to build a little piece of software that could replace me.
Leonard: Is that really possible?
Raj: As it turned out, yes.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Okay, Sheldon, I understand that youre going through a bit of a career crisis, you're searching for some other area where you can feel valuable and productive but I need to tell you something and I want you to listen carefully.
Sheldon: All right.
Leonard: Go away!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Ladies and Gentlemen, honored daughters. While Mr. Kim by virtue of his youth and naivete has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. Thank you.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to... You know, that other guy.
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh God, now even you're smarter than me.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I don't understand, exactly how did he get any friends in the first place?
Howard: We liked Leonard.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Yeah, I think you'll appreciate this, very exciting.
Dr. Gablehauser: Oh, what are you working on?
Sheldon: Something remarkable. Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize in physics have disappeared, thank you very much, I've decided to refocus my efforts and use my people skills to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Look, I'm going to solve the Middle-East Crisis by building an exact replica of Jerusalem in the middle of the Mexican desert.
Dr. Gablehauser: To what end?
Sheldon: You know, it's like the baseball movie, build it and they will come.
Dr. Gablehauser: Who will come?
Sheldon: The Jewish people.
Dr. Gablehauser: What if they don't come?
Sheldon: We'll make it nice, put out a spread.

Quote from Sheldon

Dr. Gablehauser: Okay, well, speaking of spreads, we're having a small welcoming party this afternoon for Mr. Kim who's agreed to join us here at the university.
Sheldon: Of course he has. The Oracle told us little Neo was the one. You can see the matrix, can't you?

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Sheldon, there's a diploma in my office that says I have masters in engineering.
Sheldon: And you also have a note from your mother that says "I love you, Bubula" but neither of those is a cogent argument for titanium over nano-tubes.

Quote from Raj

Howard: I guess times have changed since we were young. Smart is the new sexy.
Leonard: Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
Rajesh: Maybe we're too smart. So smart it's off-putting.
Howard: Yeah, let's go with that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Here's the problem with teleportation.
Leonard: Lay it on me.
Sheldon: Assuming the device could be invented which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location, and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual. You would have destroyed him in one location, and recreated him in another.
Leonard: How about that.
Sheldon: Personally, I would never use a transporter. Because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.
Leonard: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?
Sheldon: No, he would be exactly the same.
Leonard: That is a problem.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: So, Dennis, how long have you been in America?
Dennis Kim: A year and a half.
Leonard: No kidding. You speak English really well.
Dennis Kim: So do you. Except for your tendency to end sentences with prepositions.
Leonard: What are you talking about?
Dennis Kim: That.
Sheldon: He's not wrong.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: I've been at this lab for three years, you've never came by to say hello.
Sheldon: Well, up until now I've had better things to do. So, what are we making today?
Howard: A small payload support structure for a European science experimental package that's going up on the next space shuttle.
Sheldon: Really, how does it work?
Howard: When this is done, it will be attached to the payload bay, and the sensor apparatus will rest on it.
Sheldon: Uh, huh. So it's a shelf?
Howard: No, you don't understand, during acceleration it needs to stay perfectly level and provide ... yeah, okay, it's a shelf.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, I'm damaged, too. How about a hug for Howie?

Quote from Leonard

Howard: Unbelievable! Components I built are on the International Space Station and I get a ticket for launching a rocket in the park.
Leonard: I don't know if the ticket was so much for the launch as for telling the policewoman "You have to frisk me, I have another rocket in my pants"!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I don't understand your objection, Professor Goldfarb. Why wouldn't the Sonora Desert make a perfectly good Promised Land?
Goldfarb: Go away!
Sheldon: We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.
Goldfarb: Please go away!
Sheldon: Said Pharaoh to Moses!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Sure, if he wants to spend years doing her homework while she drinks herself into a stupor with non-fat White Russians and you're the one holding her head while she's puking and telling you she wishes more guys were like you. And then she gets into Cornell, because you wrote her essay for her and you drive up to visit her one weekend and she acts like she doesn't even know you.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I know the type. Cheerleader, student council, goes out with the jocks, won't even look at anybody in the gifted program. If after 2 years of begging, she agrees to go out with you, it turns out to be a setup and you're in your mom's car with your pants off while the whole football team laughs at you. *sobbing*

Quote from Howard

Howard: It's a small, brown paper bag, ma, I'm looking at it right now. Why would I make that up? There's no Ding Dong in it. How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow gonna help me today?

Quote from Raj

Rajesh: Why don't we do it your way then? We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
Leonard: Okay, that was uncalled for.
Rajesh: You started it, dude.


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