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‘The Graduation Transmission’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Graduation Transmission

822. The Graduation Transmission

Aired April 23, 2015

Leonard is set to give the commencement address at his former high school, but a canceled flight threatens to prevent him from giving the speech. Meanwhile, Howard's engineering skills are tested as he and Sheldon attempt to fix Raj's toy helicopter, while Raj plays his parents against each other after his father cuts him off financially.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

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Quote from Leonard

Leonard: So, for the remainder of my speech, this is for the invisible kids. Maybe you never fit in. Or maybe you were the smallest kid in the school. Or the heaviest. Or the weirdest. Maybe you're graduating and you still haven't even had your first kiss. By the way, nineteen, and Geraldine Coco, wherever you are, thank you. Maybe you don't have any friends, and guess what, that's okay. While all the popular kids are off doing whatever - I don't know what they're doing because I was never there.

Quote from Howard

Howard: All right, playtime's over. Let's open this baby up.
Sheldon: Won't that void the warranty?
Howard: Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for AppleCare. That pays for itself in the long run.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I'll take my chances.
Sheldon: Fine. I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in Braille.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: So, can you get it working?
Howard: I'm an MIT-trained engineer. I've built components for the space station.
Sheldon: I thought the zero-gravity toilet didn't work.
Howard: It worked fine. It just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts and their potato-based diet.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: Ready to call tech support?
Howard: Give me the number. Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy who's reading from the same manual I have.
*Raj's phone rings. Sheldon, Howard, and Bernadette stare at him in shock*
Raj: It's my father, you jerks.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Leonard, have you ever given a high school commencement speech before?
Leonard: No. It's pretty exciting.
Sheldon: Aren't you afraid of being blinded?
Leonard: How would I be blinded?
Sheldon: At the end of the ceremony, all the students throw those pointed hats in the air. It's all "Pomp and Circumstance" until someone loses an eye.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Well, I'm excited to show you around.
Penny: You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
Leonard: Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Okay, the WiFi extender is on, the camera's on, they're both on the same network. We should be getting an image.
Sheldon: All I see is a black screen, and my own reflection. I look sad.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: I have to return the helicopter. My father-- What did you do?!
Sheldon: Don't worry. He went to MIT. He can solve any problem. As long as it doesn't originate in a Russian man's colon.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: Why don't you just call tech support?
Sheldon: Hey!
Howard: Whoa!
Raj: Not cool!
Bernadette: What?
Howard: There's two kinds of people in this world. Those who call tech support and those who make fun of the people who call tech support.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: All right, the power supply is reconnected. I think we're back in business. Let's just run a few tests before we take it outside. Sheldon, we got WiFi?
Sheldon: Check.
Howard: GPS?
Raj: Check.
Howard: Battery charged?
Sheldon: Check.
Bernadette: Four hours of our lives gone? Check.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: All right. All systems go. In five...
Boys: ...four, three, two, one.
*An electrical crackle is heard and smoke comes out of the drone*
Sheldon: That's what my train used to do.

Quote from Sheldon

Tech Support: Tech Support. Can I help you?
Sheldon: Yes, it's a robot uprising! Call the police!

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Sweetie, you know you're supposed to wear clothes under a graduation gown?
Leonard: A. Surprised you know that. B. I wanted to look like a sexy graduate for you.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: How'd you get ready so fast?
Penny: Oh, I packed light. Once I got through an entire spring break with nothing but a long T-shirt and a belt.
Leonard: Why'd you need a belt?
Penny: It's called an evening look.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I worked hard on that speech, too.
Penny: Oh. You could tell it to me.
Leonard: Oh, thank you, but I'm okay.
Penny: Are you sure? I could pretend I'm a high school cheerleader who can't control herself around esteemed alumni.
Leonard: Greetings, distinguished cheerleaders.
Penny: Ooh!

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Boy, oh, boy, that's a lot of pieces. You know what they all do, right?
Howard: Yes, of course.
Sheldon: What about this one? *holds up a mini logic circuit*
Howard: Well, I... How familiar are you with miniaturized integrated logic circuits?
Sheldon: Not very.
Howard: That right there is a miniaturized integrated logic circuit.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You're gonna be on Skype. They're not gonna see your legs.
Leonard: Well, I'm gonna go put on some pants just in case. But, I have to say, this is very freeing.
Penny: Add a belt and I'll take you some place nice.


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