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‘The Fortification Implementation’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Big Bang Theory: The Fortification Implementation

820. The Fortification Implementation

Aired April 9, 2015

When Sheldon feels down about being left out of a physics symposium, Amy suggests they spend their date night building a fort. Meanwhile, after Howard gets the title deed to his mother's old house, he is surprised when an unknown relative turns up on his doorstep. Meanwhile, when Penny appears on Wil Wheaton's podcast, she and Leonard have a big on-air fight.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Hang on, if you're making all this money, where is it?
Penny: In a safe place.
Leonard: What does that mean, under your bed?
Penny: No, it means a diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds. I'm not overly conservative. I'm young, so my guy said I can afford to take some risks.
Leonard: Wait a minute, you have "a guy"?
Penny: Don't you have a guy?
Leonard: Why would I have a guy?! I don't have any money!

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Quote from Howard

Howard: Settle this. Those little animated pictures on the Internet, are they called "gifs" or "jifs"?
Leonard: Well, the G stands for "graphics." That's a hard G, so I'd say "gif."
Raj: What? The guy who invented it says it's "jif."
Howard: I'm sorry, do you mean the guy or the juy?

Quote from Howard

Josh: So, I have to ask, was the robot sexy?
Howard: It was actually just a mechanical hand.
Josh: 'Cause that's all you need, right?
Howard: You are my brother.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Well, you can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this--
Sheldon: Agreed.
Leonard: I was going to say "or," but why bother?

Quote from Leonard

Wil Wheaton: You know that the movie actually has a little bit of a cult following.
Penny: Really?
Wil Wheaton: Yeah. I was at a science-fiction convention, and I saw a woman dressed as your half-ape character.
Leonard: Oh, if she was with an Indian guy dressed like a banana, that was just my friends, Howard and Raj.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: It reminds me of when my stupid brother and sister would build forts in the living room, and wouldn't let me in. I hated that so much.
Amy: You know, there's nothing I can do about getting you invited to the symposium, but if you wanted we could build a fort.
Sheldon: Isn't that a little juvenile?
Amy: More juvenile than this? *Puts up picture of smiling Sheldon to her face*

Quote from Raj

Raj: So, how's it going with the title to the house?
Howard: Great, it's all done. The lawyer tracked down my father and got him to sign it over. I didn't have to meet him, I didn't have to talk to him, I don't even know where he is.
Raj: Wow, so you're not curious at all?
Howard: Nope.
Raj: What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band? I'm just saying, if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Well, wait. What if, just this once, we suspend the date night parameters and you stay later?
Amy: Well, as long as we're suspending the parameters. I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.
Sheldon: That's a big step.
Amy: It's a big fort.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Hey, I threw out the first pitch at an Angels game.
Josh: Wow.
Bernadette: He did it with a robot.
Josh: You had sex with a robot?
Howard: That's not what she meant.
Raj: But technically, yes.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Do you think there's a chance that an asteroid could hit the Earth, destroying Feynman's house and everyone in it?
Amy: No, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, buckle up. You're in for a cranky night.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: According to the codicil of the Relationship Agreement which you insisted upon, we're not allowed to pout or be moody on date night.
Sheldon: You know I just put that in because of uterus stuff.

Quote from Amy

Amy: When there was a lice epidemic at my school, everybody got it except me. I tried to fool everyone by sprinkling sugar in my hair, but I just got attacked by bees.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You here looking for money?
Josh: No.
Raj: A kidney, cornea, piece of his liver?
Josh: No.
Raj: You're in a Beatles cover band and you need Howard to replace your dad as Ringo.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What are we doing? This is a fort. Let's sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Roughing it? Okay. *sits on floor. Gasps* Everything looks so big from down here. This must be how Leonard feels.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Well, you kids have fun. I'm going to go to sleep.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't you want to see the inside of the fort?
Leonard: Yeah, I'm good.
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I really wanted to tell someone they can't come in.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Can I come in?
Sheldon: Yes, oh, but enter through the side. Batman is a load-bearing blanket.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Okay, instead of protecting me, why don't you try being excited when something good happens?
Leonard: I'm always excited for you. I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
Penny: Decent? I make twice what you make.
Leonard: Wait, twice?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: Like times two, twice?

Quote from Penny

Penny: Oh, sweetie, you should really get some money.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Leonard, why are you making such a big deal out of this? So our roles have changed a bit over the last couple of years. That's the way life is. And I'm sure, in time, they'll change again.
Leonard: Great. Not only are you more successful than me. Now you're more mature.

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