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‘The Euclid Alternative’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Euclid Alternative

205. The Euclid Alternative

Aired October 20, 2008

When the gang grows tired of chauffeuring Sheldon around, they hold an intervention to make him learn to drive.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: I still don't see why I need a driver's license. Albert Einstein never had a driver's license.
Howard: Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts.

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Quote from Sheldon

DMV Worker: Here's your learner's permit. Go away.
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I have many additional concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Don't make me climb over this counter!

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you, Sheldon, but not that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Your check-engine light is on.
Penny: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Typically, that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine. It's been on for like a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a check-the-check-engine-light light?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm clearly too evolved for driving.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Look at that sign up there.
Sheldon: Yes?
DMV Worker: Does it say "I give a damn?"
Sheldon: No.
DMV Worker: That's because I don't.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: We're gonna have to stop at Pottery Barn on our way to work. I bought these Star Wars sheets, but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Who is going to drive me to work?
Leonard: You're a big boy you'll figure something out.
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: I was examining perturbutive amplitudes in N=4 supersymeteric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multiloop N=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights and you'd have to make others arrangements?
Sheldon: You did.
Leonard: And?
Sheldon: I didn't.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: How am I gonna get to work.
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: But I can't take the bus. They don't have seat belts. And they won't let you latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords.
Leonard: You tried to latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords?
Sheldon: I didn't try, I succeeded. For some reason, it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh God, not Euclid Avenue!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Just because your career's been stagnant for a few years, that's no reason to give up.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee cord thing, okay?
Sheldon: Penny, didn't you recently state that you and I are friends?
Penny: Yes, Sheldon, we are friends.
Sheldon: Then I hereby invoke what I'm given to understand is an integral part of the implied covenant of friendship. The favor.
Penny: Oh, dear God.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was interrupting your morning prayers. When you're done, we'll go.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: You have to drive me to work.
Penny: Yeah, I really don't think I do.
Sheldon: But I don't drive and I can't take the bus.
Penny: Alright, honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee chord thing.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Studies are shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on a cell phone or drinking coffee while driving reduces ones reaction time by the same factors as ounce of alcohol.


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