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‘The Donation Oscillation’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Donation Oscillation

1215. The Donation Oscillation

Aired February 7, 2019

Penny tries to seduce an abstaining Leonard to ruin his "donation" for her ex-boyfriend, Zack, and his wife, Marissa. Also, Wolowitz, Bernadette, Anu and Koothrappali turn Koothrappali's canceled bachelor party into a couple's trip aboard the "vomit comet".

Quote from Leonard

Zack: Well, Leonard, we were hoping you'd go in on Monday.
Leonard: Okay.
Marissa: And they say, for the best results, between now and then, you shouldn't have sex.
Zack: Sorry, bro, I know it seems impossible to go for five days without, but I believe in you.
Leonard: Five days? My record is 24 years.
Penny: Uh, I think that also means no flying solo.
Leonard: Oh. Then my record is 14 years.


Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Oh, hey, Sheldon. We're kind of in the middle of something.
Sheldon: Oh, I won't be a moment. I just need to grab a book off a high shelf, which I can do because I am both tall and smart.
Amy: Sheldon, come home! They don't want to have your baby!
Sheldon: I don't know what you're talking about. Oh-oh, dear, I think I got something in my eye. My piercing, blue eye.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: Fine. I've also never had a cavity and I don't have asthma.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, if you had food on your face, would you want me to tell you?
Leonard: Where? Did I get it?
Sheldon: Oh, no, not now; it was last week. I didn't know whether or not to tell you, but everyone was staring. For the record, it was right there. And it was Nutella.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: You looked like a hazelnut Hitler.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Hey, who wants to hear some exciting news?
Leonard: Oh, what's up?
Howard: This weekend, I got us four seats on the Vomit Comet.
Sheldon: Oh, you lost me at "vomit," you lost me again at "comet," and to be honest, I was on the fence at "us."

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Yeah, I can't go either. Penny's dad is visiting from Nebraska, and I haven't seen him for a while.
Raj: Oh, that's nice you guys get along. I forget, Howard, does your father-in-law still hate you?
Howard: He doesn't hate me. He's just disappointed that I'm not any other man on the planet.
Sheldon: That's how I feel about Ben Affleck as Batman.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: What are those?
Leonard: Oh, vitamins. Zack wants me to take them to increase my virility.
Penny: Zack used the word "virility"?
Leonard: He may have said "wiener power."

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, that's my dad. Now, remember, do not bring up any baby stuff, all right? Not me not wanting one, not you having one with Zack.
Leonard: Got it.
Penny: And if he brings it up, change the subject to literally anything else.
Leonard: I got it.
Penny: But not the Cornhuskers. Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.
Leonard: Is that a sports team?
Penny: Never mind, you're good.

Quote from Penny

Wyatt: You two might want to talk louder or quieter.
Penny: In high school, he could hear me open a can of beer in my closet under a blanket.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Penny doesn't want to have kids. I respect that. But this is my chance to leave a part of me behind.
Amy: Okay, but this isn't gonna make you a dad. It's gonna be their baby, not yours.
Sheldon: Although, someday, if that kid wants to know why he's short, nearsighted, and asthmatic, he may hunt you down.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: Not to brag, but I'm an astronaut, so I've been weightless before. Can be pretty scary.
Bernadette: Please, I'm, like, 90 pounds. I'm weightless every time I hold more than three balloons.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: We have kids, and it's not smart to put us both in danger.
Raj: That's a good point. When I was little, my parents never flew together. We thought it was because they loved us, but it turns out they hated each other.

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