‘The Cooper/Kripke Inversion’ Quotes

614. The Cooper/Kripke Inversion
Aired January 31, 2013
When Sheldon is forced to work with Barry Kripke, he is surprised to find his work is not as good as Barry's. Meanwhile, Howard and Raj spend $1,000 on action figures of themselves.
Quote from Howard
Howard: My wife came with both fun bags and money bags.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Penny, all my life I have been uncomfortable with the sort of physical contact that comes easily to others: handshaking, hugging, prostate exams. But I'm working on it, you know? Just recently, I had to put VapoRub on Amy's chest. A year ago, that would have been unthinkable.
Quote from Sheldon
Kripke: My work would suffer too if I was getting laid all the time.
Sheldon: Yes, that is the reason. My work is suffering because of all the laid I am getting.
Kripke: You lucky bastard.
Sheldon: What can I say, you know? She enjoys my genitals. I am giving them to her on a nightly basis.
Quote from Sheldon
Kripke: You guys ever use any toys?
Sheldon: I do have a model rocket next to my bed.
Kripke: A rocket? You're a freak! I love it!
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: No, here's how love works. You're gonna return the machine or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
Howard: [pondering]
Bernadette: Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: $5,000 for a couple dolls. Are you out of your mind?
Quote from Sheldon
Penny: Okay. Hang on. Are you saying some day that you and Amy might actually get physical?
Sheldon: It's a possibility.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Well, the equation balances, but it's certainly not elegant.
Kripke: Whatever. Did you get any last night?
Sheldon: Yes.
Kripke: Gave it to her good, huh?
Sheldon: No, I gave it to her well.
Quote from Howard
Raj: Aren't you gonna to eat lunch?
Howard: Nah, I blew my food allowance on Pokemon cards.