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‘The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

206. The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Aired November 3, 2008

When a young grad student falls for Sheldon, the gang is confused - nobody more so than Sheldon. Though Sheldon is initially pleased to be the subject of someone's adoration, he's soon searching for ways to end their "relationship".

Quote from Raj

Raj: Isn't there a policy against dating graduate students?
Leonard: No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
Raj: Damn, there's always a catch.


Quote from Howard

Penny: Whats Sheldon's deal? Is it girls, guys, sock puppets?
Howard: We operate on the assumption that Sheldon has no deal. Though we have many theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Penny: What?
Howard: I believe that one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and spilt into two Sheldons.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Holy crap on a cracker!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Who's Nowitzki?
Ramona: I'm Nowitzki.
Sheldon: Oh, so you want me to share credit with you?
Ramona: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Get out!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I too was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was 14 and had already achieved more than you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics. It's more likely that you will spend your careers teaching fifth graders how to make paper-mache volcanoes with baking-soda lava.
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make any significant contribution to physics played a cruel trick on you. A cruel trick indeed. Any questions? Of course not. I weep for the future of science. Now, if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out. Come, Leonard.
Leonard: Laser demonstration's looking pretty good now, huh?

Quote from Sheldon

Ramona: Didn't a great man once say, "Science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives."?
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: So if you are considering going into experimental physics, my door is always open. Once again, I'm sorry that the demonstration didn't quite work out. But now we know what happens when you accidentally spill peach snapple into a helium-neon laser. The short answer is don't.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Sheldon lives in fear of the three-tined forks.
Sheldon: Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (To Penny) Apparently, I'm in some kind of relationship, and, well, you seem to be an expert at ending them.
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.
Penny: Okay, first of all, it is not man after man.

Quote from Sheldon

Ramona: You are so witty.
Sheldon: Aren't I?

Quote from Howard

Raj: I love this time of the year. The leaves are turning, there's a bracing chill in the air.
Howard: Plus there's a whole new crop of female grad students about to put on just enough winter weight to make them needy and vulnerable. That's right, honey, have another calzone. Daddy can wait.

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