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‘The Collaboration Contamination’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Collaboration Contamination

1105. The Collaboration Contamination

Aired October 23, 2017

When Howard and Amy collaborate on a project, Sheldon and Raj struggle with feelings of jealousy and loneliness. Meanwhile, Penny and Leonard get help for dealing with Sheldon from an unlikely source.

Quote from Penny

Penny: No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.

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Quote from Leonard

Penny: Now, why don't you go wash up, and we'll call you when dinner's ready.
Sheldon: Okay. (Sheldon leaves)
Leonard: (surprised) What did you do? Are you a witch?

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: That's amazing.
Penny: I know. But, you know, it's only birth to five. What do we do when he turns six?
Leonard: Take him to the zoo and leave him there.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: It's fine, I've been driving him for years. What's one more day?
Sheldon: Oh, and I've got a new car game we can play. It's called "What siren am I?"

Quote from Amy

Howard: Amy, your lab is amazing. A C-arm fluoroscope, a cranial ultrasound, (gasps), and look at that coffee maker!
Amy: I know. On our expense report, I listed it as "Eduardo", my Colombian lab assistant.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: All right, you ready for your next one? Just a warning, this one's a little annoying. (imitates a high-pitched siren)
Leonard: Let's take a little little break, I'm getting a headache.
Sheldon: Aw, right in the middle of our fun game.
Leonard: Yeah, weird.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: She's going to be home at "eight-ish." Like, when is that? 8:01? 8:02? And what kind of scientist uses "-ish"?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I got you a little something to help you relax.
Amy: Sheldon, that is the sweetest, most- What what is this?
Sheldon: The notes from our quantum cognition project. I thought we could spend the evening grinding away on it.
Amy: (sighs) I just got home, I'm tired.
Sheldon: Of Howard, I know. So how about you and me make some beautiful science together?
Amy: Sheldon, I want to work on this with you, just not tonight. What if we get up early and do it in the morning? I promise, I'll be way more into it.
Sheldon: You know what? There was a time that you would've been happy to stay up and collaborate all night with me. And then wake up in the morning and do it some more.
Amy: (sighs) Fine, but can we make it quick?
Sheldon: No. If you're just gonna make me do all the work, then go to bed. But don't be surprised if you walk out here and catch me doing it myself.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: At least he can still clean the oven, so that's something.
Sheldon: Oh, that's what he thinks. Where's your steel wool?
Bernadette: (picks it up from her lap) Right here.
Sheldon: We make quite the team.
Bernadette: Sure do!

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: This is great, the two of us hanging out. Why didn't we think of this earlier?
Sheldon: Agreed. I don't need Amy to watch a movie. I can not hold your hand just as easily.
(Sheldon starts the movie)
Sheldon: In the book this is based on, that man's the killer.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: Did you do the laundry?
Sheldon: I sure did. Ooh, he's gonna be steamed. Just like his dress shirts.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What makes you think you can treat me like a child?
Leonard: Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
Sheldon: That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Oh, that's Sheldon. Oh, he's upset with Leonard and Penny. (phone whooshes) And Bernadette. (phone whooshes) And Mark Twain?

Quote from Amy

Howard: So this is it?
Amy: Yes. We are using it to map brain wave patterns and then converting them into electrical impulses that can be used to control anything from wheelchairs to robots.
Howard: Based on that ring on your finger, I'd say you're pretty good at controlling robots.
Amy: Careful, that's my fiance you're talking about. And I can program him to hurt you.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What's with the blinking?
Sheldon: It's Morse code. So we can talk about without hurting --'s feelings.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't know Morse code.
Howard: I do. And if you have something to say, you can say it to my face.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Ahh, Sheldon's texting me to drive him to Bernadette's.
Penny: Well, what are you gonna say?
Leonard: Well, they did just introduce the middle finger emoji. If it's not for this, I don't know what it's for.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Maybe there's something in the book that will help.
Leonard: Worth a shot.
Penny: Okay. Let's see, let's see. "Biting other children"?
Leonard: Well, sometimes, but problem for another day.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Hey, what are you working on?
Bernadette: Oh, my God, you're still here?
Raj: Well, of course I'm here. I know what you're going through.
Bernadette: Really? You have a needy Indian man in your house?
Raj: I did, but then he came over here.


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