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20Quotes from ‘The Change Constant’

The Big Bang Theory: The Change Constant

1223. The Change Constant

Aired May 16, 2019

Sheldon and Amy await big news.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Oh. That's me. Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Fowler. I see. Okay, thank you. We won.
Penny: Congratulations!
Leonard: Oh, my God!
Sheldon: We did it.
Amy: I know. Can you believe it?
Sheldon: That's a good point. What if I'm dreaming? [Leonard slaps Sheldon] We won the Nobel Prize!

Quote from Penny

Penny: So, I guess the only thing that actually stays the same is that things are always changing.
Sheldon: Interesting. So you're saying the inevitability of change might be a universal constant.
Penny: Well, there's a little more to it than that, but, yeah, sure.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Well should we wake him up?
Leonard: Well, he did say if he fell asleep, we were allowed to slap him awake.
Penny: Oh, boy.
Leonard: Wait a minute. Why do you get to do it?
Penny: 'Cause I called it.
Leonard: Well, you can't just call it. You have to earn it.
Penny: Oh, and you've earned it?
Leonard: No one has earned it more than me. [Amy clears her throat] You have your whole life to smack him around. This is my time.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: It's weird. I don't really feel different, but I guess our lives will never be the same.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. We're going to work like always. I still put my pants on both legs at a time.
Amy: One day that's gonna end very badly.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Sheldon, that was really rude.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Amy is the one constant I can count on, and now she's changing.
Leonard: It's just a haircut and some clothes.
Sheldon: No, it's the last straw! I can't take any more! [elevator bell dings]
Penny: Can you believe it? They finally fixed the elevator.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: How did you get down here?
Penny: The elevator. It's really fast.
Sheldon: I-I need to be alone right now. Don't try to follow me.
Penny: All right. You need a ride?
Sheldon: That'd be great. Thank you.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I should've seen this coming.
Raj: Oh, stop. You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. You know, like maybe 300 tiny haircuts over a ten-year period.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Okay, you need to focus on the positive. You won a Nobel Prize. I slapped Sheldon. A lot of dreams came true today.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Six times ten to the eighth atoms, Of a radium in a lead jar, Six times ten to the eighth atoms of radium, If the half-life of radium should happen to pass, Three times ten to the eighth atoms, Of a radium in a lead jar.
Penny: Really hope you're almost to zero.
Sheldon: No, see, that's the beauty of half-lives: it's impossible to determine when you'll arrive at zero. It's like "Wheels on the Bus" if the bus had an unknowable number of parts.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Mm, absolutely not, no. The Nobel committee will be making the calls to inform the winners at any minute, so the only drug I need is the endorphins pumping through my brain in anticipation of our victory.
Amy: Well, technically, anticipation wouldn't be mediated by endorphins as much as dopamine, but, you know, you've been up all night, so I'll give you that one. [Amy looks and sees Sheldon is asleep] Really? The second he stops talking?

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: All right, now what?
Sheldon: Oh, why don't we play a game to pass the time? Here. Uh, I am thinking of a number. Hint: it's a cube of a cube of a prime.
Leonard: There's an infinite number of possibilities.
Sheldon: What, you got somewhere to be?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It's a congratulations text from my meemaw. [phone vibrates] Ooh. Oh, and there's one from my mom. [phone vibrates] And my sister. [phone vibrates] Oh, and my brother. [phone vibrates] And my brother's ex-wife. [phone vibrates] My brother's other ex-wife. Boy, they don't tell you when you win a Nobel it chews up your phone battery.

Quote from Howard

Reporter: Dr. Cooper, can I get a minute of your time? Hello?
Howard: Hey. Can I help you?
Reporter: Uh, yeah, actually. Um, I had an appointment to interview Dr. Cooper about the Nobel.
Howard: Hang on a second. Sheldon? [Howard enters Sheldon's office, finds him hiding behind his desk and shaking his head] Sorry, he's not here.
Reporter: Damn. I've got a deadline.
Howard: I don't know if it helps you at all, but I'm his best friend in the whole world.
Reporter: Really?
Howard: And an astronaut. Come on, you can buy me a cup of coffee, and I'll tell you about both.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Sounds expensive.
Raj: Excuse me, i-if I'm not mistaken, the Nobel comes with a substantial cash prize. What were you gonna spend it on?
Amy: Hadn't really thought about it. Sheldon's got his eyes on some new Dockers.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Please, that doesn't make you his best friend.
Howard: You know, that reporter asked me if I could put him in touch with Amy's best friend.
Bernadette: That's Penny.
Howard: [singsongy:] Doesn't have to be.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: This is a nightmare.
Penny: What's with him?
Leonard: He won a Nobel Prize, and his wife looks amazing.
Penny: Oh. Yeah, got it.

Quote from Raj

Amy: You know, you're right. This is a huge day for me, and I'm allowed to enjoy it without worrying how it's going to affect my husband.
Raj: Is it me or did it just get fierce in here?

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same, but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Sheldon: Oh, you are a mean drunk.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I'm done enabling him. Like, this is his spot and-and the thermostat has to be set to his comfort level, even though he doesn't even live here anymore and I'm always chilly.
Raj: Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time?
Leonard: Why would-- Yes! To accommodate Sheldon! And what-what about this-this thing? Why is it here? I'll tell you why. Because it was here when I moved in, and, for no earthly reason, he forbade me to touch it.
Amy: Well, if you don't like it, get rid of it. Put it in the closet.
Leonard: You know what, I will. [Leonard tries to move the helix structure. Lots of little beads fall off and come crashing to the floor]
Raj: I bet that's the reason.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Hang on. What do you think? Want to give it a try? [elevator bell dings]
Sheldon: Well, you know, the elevator did work when I moved into the building. So going up and down the stairs was a change, which means this would actually be a return to the status quo. But, conversely, I think-
Penny: Get in!
[the elevator door closes]
Sheldon: This is wild.


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