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23Quotes from ‘The Bad Fish Paradigm’

The Big Bang Theory: The Bad Fish Paradigm

201. The Bad Fish Paradigm

Aired September 22, 2008

When her first date with Leonard doesn't go to plan, Penny confides in Sheldon, who immediately freaks out about keeping a secret.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. Sssh!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'm Batman! Ssssh!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: How could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
Sheldon: They were very smart. They used my complete lack of interest in what you are doing.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Sheldon, could I ask you a question?
Sheldon: I would prefer that you not, but I wouldn't go so far as to forbid it.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: So, do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating, Leonard would get bored with me?
Sheldon: That depends.
Penny: On what?
Sheldon: Do you have a working knowledge on Quantum Physics?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Do you speak Klingon?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Do you know any card tricks?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: And you thought the opposite of stupid loser was a Community College Graduate?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: When I try to deceive I have more nervous ticks than a lime disease research facility.

Sheldon: It's a joke. It relies on a homonymic relationship between the tick the blood sucking arachnid, and tick the involuntary muscular contraction. I made it up myself.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Tag, you're it!
Howard: Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?

Quote from Howard

Mrs. Wolowitz:What's going on? Are you boys rough housing?
Howard: We're just talking, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: If you don't settle down right now, I'm not gonna let you have any more sleepovers.
Howard: For God's Sake, Ma, I'm 27 years old. And it's not even a school night.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I drank milk that tasted funny.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: I hate trains.
Sheldon: Oh, don't be silly. You love trains.

Quote from Leonard

Wolowitz: Leonard, how was your date?
Leonard: Bite me!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous!
Sheldon: I know! Most of your work is extremely derivative. And don't worry, that's not a secret.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Look, just forget I told you about me not graduating from community college, okay?
Sheldon: Forget? You want me to forget? This mind does not forget. I haven't forgotten a thing since the day my mother stopped breast-feeding me. It was a drizzly Tuesday.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: What happened to him?
Howard: He wouldn't sleep so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mother's Valium in it. Tag you're it!

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: Qu'est-ce que 'sup?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock.

Quote from Raj

Raj: They don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate. Sadly, that's my homerun swing.

Quote from Howard

Raj: He was a lot more fun when he had no hope.
Howard: Give him time.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: I meant has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
Sheldon: Oh! Well, a few years ago, he did go out with a woman who had a Ph.D in French Literature.
Penny: How is that not a brainiac?
Sheldon: Well, for one thing she was French.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: How's the air matress?
Sheldon: It's okay, if you don't mind sleeping on a bouncy castle.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You could be Batman?
Sheldon: Yeah. I'm Batman. See?

Quote from Leonard

Penny: It's just this is only our first date.
Leonard: Well, why don't we just figure out where we're going, and when we want to get there, and then rate of speed equals distance over time, solve for 'r'.
Penny: Or we could just wing it.


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