Howard: Kids asleep?
Bernadette: Nope. I've been trying to get them down for hours. Apparently, Halley's afraid of the dark now and I can't turn on the night-light 'cause it makes Michael cry.
Howard: Why doesn't he like the night-light?
Bernadette: Jot that down, we can ask him as soon as he learns to speak. We can also find out what's so damn funny about birds.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

President Siebert: Look, it doesn't matter if they have popular support, we're gonna get the scientific community behind us.
Leonard: He's right, the Nobel Prize is about the work, and as your fellow scientists, we support you and Amy.
President Siebert: That's great, Scooby Gang.

President Siebert: Dr. Cooper, there you are. I just wanted to tell you not to worry about this Pemberton and Campbell publicity blitz.
Sheldon: Are you worried?
President Siebert: Not at all. Not even a little bit. [manic laugh]

Sheldon: Look at this. They posted another video. It's not even about science. They're on a celebrity bus tour.
Raj: Those are fun. I went on one and saw Tom Hanks talking to his gardener. He's even nice when you plant the wrong color azaleas.