Amy: Why are you trying to avoid having sex?
Sheldon: Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
Amy: I was talking to Leonard!

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

Marissa: It's a little weird for us, too. I mean, instead of our baby looking like Zack, it's gonna look like Leonard.
Zack: Or Penny if it's a girl.
Penny: No, no, it's not gonna look- Sure.

Raj: Uh, if you still want to go, you can go to India and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi.
Howard: Indian sushi? I need a change of underwear just thinking about that.

Zack: Well, Leonard, we were hoping you'd go in on Monday.
Leonard: Okay.
Marissa: And they say, for the best results, between now and then, you shouldn't have sex.
Zack: Sorry, bro, I know it seems impossible to go for five days without, but I believe in you.
Leonard: Five days? My record is 24 years.
Penny: Uh, I think that also means no flying solo.
Leonard: Oh. Then my record is 14 years.