Raj: Hey, don't freak out, but I think there's someone in your playhouse.
Howard: Oh. Yeah, that's just Bernadette. She's been hiding out in there all week.
Raj: Really? Why?
Howard: I don't know. She's been a little overwhelmed at work. And, frankly, me and the kids are a lot. She just needs some downtime.
Raj: And you just pretend like you don't know?
Howard: Sure. That's how marriage works. Three years ago, I told her I got life insurance, and I totally didn't. (laughs) Someday, she's gonna find out. I'm gonna say, "Ha-ha! I know you've been hiding in the playhouse."
Raj: Why don't you just get the life insurance?
Howard: Whose side are you on?

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

President Siebert: So, there are some funds left in the general administrative grant, and I need somebody to decide how we should disburse them.
Leonard: Really? Wow, what an honor. Thank you. So how do I decide who gets the money?
President Siebert: How do you decide anything? Think about it with your brain, and then say it with your mouth.

Sheldon: All right, I've kept you in suspense long enough. "Dutch" is a bastardization of the word "Deutsch," meaning German.
Penny: What's German for "annoying"?
Sheldon: Nervig. Why do you ask?

Sheldon: This reminds me of a traditional Amish barn raising. With everyone pitching in.
Howard: How exactly are you pitching in?
Sheldon: I don't hear anyone else giving facts about traditional Amish barn raising.
Leonard: The rest of us are pitching in with hammers and nails.
Sheldon: Well, facts are my nails, and my voice is the hammer which pounds them through the wood of your skull.
Penny: Well, that is how it feels.