Doctor Lee: Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, did you have a chance to look over my proposal?
Leonard: I did, and your research is fascinating. I had no idea that crows were that smart. Do they really hold grudges?
Doctor Lee: They do. One of them escaped from my behavioral study a year ago. I can't prove it's him, but something craps on my car every day.

President Siebert: So, there are some funds left in the general administrative grant, and I need somebody to decide how we should disburse them.
Leonard: Really? Wow, what an honor. Thank you. So how do I decide who gets the money?
President Siebert: How do you decide anything? Think about it with your brain, and then say it with your mouth.

Sheldon: All right, I've kept you in suspense long enough. "Dutch" is a bastardization of the word "Deutsch," meaning German.
Penny: What's German for "annoying"?
Sheldon: Nervig. Why do you ask?

Sheldon: This reminds me of a traditional Amish barn raising. With everyone pitching in.
Howard: How exactly are you pitching in?
Sheldon: I don't hear anyone else giving facts about traditional Amish barn raising.
Leonard: The rest of us are pitching in with hammers and nails.
Sheldon: Well, facts are my nails, and my voice is the hammer which pounds them through the wood of your skull.
Penny: Well, that is how it feels.