Leonard: So, when Howard said the FBI would be contacting me, I was expecting Mulder. Glad to see I got Scully.
Agent Page: Who?
Leonard: Mulder and Scully. X-Files. The truth is out there. Never mind.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Wolowitz: But you love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater.

Penny: OK Sheldon, what can I get ya?
Sheldon: Alcohol.
Penny: Could you be a little more specific?
Sheldon: Ethyl alcohol, 40 millilitres.

Penny: Sheldon, you can't re-program people.
Sheldon: No, you can't re-program people.