Oliver: Anyway, uh, I went over to comfort her, and we talked, and I think we're gonna give it another chance.
Raj: I am so happy for you! Hey, uh, we should celebrate.
Oliver: House of Pies?
Raj: You know it.
Oliver: Should we invite Nell?
Raj: Do we have to?
Oliver: Nah.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Sheldon: No, the campus isn't safe at night. There's raccoons and undergrads just walking around like they own the place.

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Howard: Look at this cute picture of Halley in the bath.
Leonard: Aw, that's great.
Howard: Want me to send it to you?
Leonard: No, on your phone it's cute, on my phone it's a crime.