Leonard: Uh, Sheldon, what are you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, I was just checking in on my old room to see what you've done with it.
Penny: Why?
Sheldon: Well, I could use a place to work in the evenings, and-
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, it's just that there's not a lot of space in our apartment-
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Well, and I feel like Amy's been having-
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: And since you're not-
Penny: No.
Sheldon: It's-
Leonard: No.
Penny: (Sheldon starts to speak) No.
Leonard: That is our room now, and we're gonna turn it into a gym.
Sheldon: Do you really expect me to believe that?
Leonard: No.
Penny: No.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: No, the campus isn't safe at night. There's raccoons and undergrads just walking around like they own the place.

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Howard: Look at this cute picture of Halley in the bath.
Leonard: Aw, that's great.
Howard: Want me to send it to you?
Leonard: No, on your phone it's cute, on my phone it's a crime.