Leonard: Sheldon, I told you, I only have access to the free-electron laser at night. I can't drive you for the next few weeks.
Sheldon: No, you said you couldn't drive me to work, this is from work.
Leonard: Howard, help me out here.
Howard: No, just for the fun of it, I'm gonna take his side.
Sheldon: Now, how do you propose I get home?
Leonard: How did you get here in the first place?
Sheldon: Penny. But I sense that's no longer an option.
Leonard: Look, I need to get to the laser lab, you're just going to have to find someone else to take you home. [Sheldon looks to Howard]
Howard: Oh damn, I picked the wrong side.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Sheldon: I still don't see why I need a driver's license. Albert Einstein never had a driver's license.
Howard: Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts.

DMV Worker: Here's your learner's permit. Go away.
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I have many additional concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Don't make me climb over this counter!

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you, Sheldon, but not that.