Kelso: Okay, what is your problem, man?
Fez: It's just... Okay. Um... Has anyone ever had a dream where you were with a girl?
Eric: Oh, hell, yeah. Miss October.
Donna: Hey!
Eric: And- And you know what I said to her? I said, "Get the hell out of my dream, Miss October. I'm Donna's man."

Red: Why is the dog on the counter?
Kitty: He likes to be tall.

Hyde: I told Jackie I don't want her hanging out with Kelso. I walk in, they're playing couch Twister. And I don't know if something just happened or something was about to happen. But you know what? I don't care anymore.
Roy: Have you talked to her?
Hyde: No! Come on, man. I'm done talking. I'm just glad I saw them. Now I can be the bigger person and bail before she does.
Roy: Yeah, that's what I should've done with Lauren. And Susan. And Janice. Ah, who am I kidding? I'm just making these names up.

Kelso: Hey, Roy. I just need to grab my check.
Hyde: Hey, Kelso, what the hell were you doing with my girlfriend on Donna's couch?
Kelso: Huh? That wasn't me.
Hyde: I saw you!
Kelso: Oh. Uh... Uh, well... Okay, look. It wasn't what you think. Um, it was totally different. See, Fez had this sex dream about me. And I was, like, a nurse in it. And I was totally freaking out, and Jackie was just comforting me. I mean, 'cause, you know... [whispers] Fez had a sex dream about me.
Hyde: So your story is that you were with Jackie because Fez had a boy-on-boy dream about you?
Kelso: [chuckles] It's crazy, huh?
Hyde: Kelso, that is the worst lie you've told since you claimed to be the prince of South Carolina.
Kelso: No, I'm not lying about Fez's dream! Wh- I was sponging him! It's the truth!
Roy: Hey, I believe people have dreams about you, man. I mean, put a blond wig on, you're Goldie Hawn.
Kelso: I know that.

Eric: Well, Joanne, thank you for the factory tour. So, um, where is the coupon liaison office?
Joanne: You're standing in it.
Donna: Well, it's big. And, look, you have a window. Maybe someday you can climb up there and look out.
Eric: Joanne, what exactly is the coupon liaison?
[cut to Eric dropping coupons in bags of dog food as they move across the production line]

Red: Well, if it isn't the conquering hero home from a big day of dog food.
Eric: Hey, I had a great day, okay? And by the way, I'm nowhere near the actual food. I'm off with, like, the executives. [Schotzie whines]
Red: Really? Well, Schotzie sure does love the smell of executives.
Donna: Okay, look. Okay, maybe Eric is working with dog food, but he's not complaining, and he's not quitting. And we're gonna get married no matter what you think. Or how he smells.
Eric: Aw, thanks, honey.
Donna: Don't touch me.
Eric: Okay.

Eric: No, no. We're ready. We are more than ready.
Donna: We're ready?
Eric: Yeah. I mean- Well, I am if you are.
Donna: Well, yeah. Sure, I'm completely ready.
Red: Well, that's great. You know, it's all settled. I'll just- I'll go call the cake shop right now.
Eric: So, it's, uh, a wedding.
Donna: Next week.
Eric: Right. Oh, I have some homework-
Donna: Yeah, I gotta clean my room.

Jackie: Hey, Roy, where's Steven? You know, I haven't seen him all day.
Roy: You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here. Hyde saw you and Kelso snuggled up on the couch. Tramp.
Jackie: Wait. What?
Roy: Yeah, I said, "tramp."
Jackie: Oh, my God. I have to find Steven.
Roy: Uh, d-don't tell him I called you a tramp.

[Kelso's dream sequence:]
Nurse: Welcome to the clinic for sexy Kelsos. What can I do for you?
Kelso: Well, I'm here for my supersexy sponge bath. But I have money, so if you do other stuff too-
Nurse Kelso: Oh, I'll do anything you want. You're one good-looking stud!
Kelso: Right back at you, handsome.