[fantasy:]
Red: Oh, damn it! Did Bob kill me?
Kitty: Oh, but he just feels super bad about it.
Red: Mm-hmm. So, where is everyone?
Kitty: Boy, you can hardly tell where your head was crushed. [laughs]
Red: Where are all my friends?
Kitty: You don't really have any friends, Red. You know, it's- it's an unfortunate side effect of telling everybody to-to stick it up their butts.
Red: Yeah. Gee, I guess you're right, Kitty. Maybe I should have been nicer.
Kitty: Yeah. Oh, well. Hindsight's twenty-twenty. You just lie back and enjoy your coffin. Ooh, satin. That's nice.
[reality:]
Bob: Red! Red! Oh, I'm so sorry! It was an accident.
Red: Bob, I never thought I'd say this... but I'm glad you're my friend. [hugs Bob]
Bob: Red, I never thought I'd say this, but you smell nice.

[split-screen of Donna with Jackie and Eric with Hyde:]
Donna: Jackie, that's really annoying.
Eric: Knock it off, Hyde!
Jackie: Donna, is there something you need to talk about?
Hyde: Oh, crap. Do you need to talk about something?
Donna & Eric: Can you keep a secret?
Jackie: Not really.
Hyde: Yeah. Unless I can burn you with it later.
Donna: I'm holding out on Eric.
Eric: I'm holding out on Donna.
Jackie: Oh, Donna, that's great!
Hyde: Forman, that's hysterical.
Jackie & Hyde: So, how long has it been?
Donna & Eric: Three of the longest days of my life. Maybe I should just cave.
Jackie & Hyde: No!
Hyde: Hey, if you cave, she owns you.
Jackie: When he caves, you own him.
Eric: Yeah, but there's no way she wants it as bad as I do.
Hyde: Can you blame her?
Donna: I think I want it more than Eric.
Jackie: Eww. Why?
Hyde: Forman, sex is how women control men.
Jackie: Donna, sex is how we control men. If they ever find out we want it too, we'll never get jewelry again.
Hyde: Secretly, I believe they like it as much as we do.
Eric: Oh. You and your crazy conspiracies.

Kelso: Hyde, what are you doing?
Hyde: This means something. This is important.
Kitty: Well, this is a close encounter of the potato kind. [laughs] I'm sorry.

Red: How's it going, guys? Good to see you all. Kitty, I've been thinking. It might be fun to have our friends over for a party.
Kelso: Oh, whoo-hoo! Party at Red's!
Kitty: Are you feeling okay, Red? [Fez goes to put his arm around Red] Oh, honey, honey, don't touch him.
Red: Yeah, I'm fine.
Kitty: Okay. Well, I just- I have never heard you use the words "fun," "friends" and "party" all in the same sentence.
Hyde: I have, Mrs. Forman. For instance, "Eric, I had fun ruining the party for you and your friends."
Red: Yeah, that was fun.
Kitty: Well, I think a party is a great idea, Red.
Red: Great. Then it's settled. [to Fez] How you doin' there, Sabu?
Fez: He smells nice.

Kelso: No, in the sky! Those lights. I think that's a U.F.O. It's just a plane.
Fez: They're all just planes.
Kelso: Yeah. Well, we'll see about that. [chuckles] Now I've got photographic evidence.
Hyde: Of what? That planes can fly?

Dale: And two of them to turn the ladder. [chuckles]
Red: [forced laugh] Yeah. Yeah, those Polish people, they sure don't know much about lightbulbs.
Dale: Exactly. Two of them turn the ladder.
[fantasy:]
Dale: So Sammy Davis Jr., the pope and this Polish guy are on a plane, see? And there's only the one parachute.
Tony: Hey, Red, seeing as how you're dead and all, can I have those shoes?
Kitty: Get away from him! Red, honey, your funeral's a big hit. You are corpse of the year.
Red: Just put the lid on, Kitty. I need some freakin' quiet.

Leo: Hey, Kelso, man. I brought you your film. U.F.O. pictures came out okay.
Kelso: Aha! Proof.
Leo: But these naked ones of you are far more interesting, man.
Kelso: What? Those were on that roll?
Fez: You know, I don't see a U.F.O but I can definitely see Uranus. It's a planet, but it's also your butt.

Kelso: You guys are so immature.
Hyde: Kelso, why are you squirting water out of your mouth?
Kelso: I was a fountain!
Leo: I totally got it, man. It's art.
[Kelso grabs his photos and runs out]
Leo: Hey, you guys wanna see the other set he brought?

Kelso: [hums theme from Close Encounters Of The Third Kind]
Kelso, Hyde & Fez: [all hum theme]
Leo: Hey, dudes.
Hyde: Leo, what are you doing here, man?
Leo: Wow. That's a really good question, man.
Hyde: Leo?
Leo: I'm working on it, man. Chocodile?
Kelso: [points to the sky] What's that?
Leo: It's a Twinkie wrapped in chocolate, man.

Eric: Donna, I'm so glad you're my study partner. Because you make learning fun.
Donna: Okay. Well, no more study breaks. We have to get this report done.
Eric: All right. Fine. [clears throat] Okay. A report on the current state of U.S.-Soviet relations. Okay, we need a title.
Donna: How 'bout "Current State of U.S.-Soviet Relations"?
Eric: Damn, you're smart. U.S.-Soviet Relations. [they kiss]