Donna: You guys, the radio station asked me to host an on-air fundraiser for the Children's Library. A year ago, I was doing the Farm Report and now it's gonna be Hot Donna all day long. That's right. I'm gonna be referring to myself in the third person from now on.

Donna: And I told my boss that I'm not getting off the air until I've raised 500 bucks. Which'll be easy, because my fans do anything I say. Like, there was this one time where I told everybody to get up and dance when I played "Tear The Roof Off The Sucker". There was almost a riot at the prison.
Jackie: Yeah. Thanks a lot, Donna. My dad had to hide under his bunk.

Donna: Hyde, thanks for letting us broadcast from Grooves. We couldn't do it at the Children's Library, because the last time I was there, this 10-year-old boy got a peek down my shirt and his mom had to read him What's Happening to My Body? three years earlier than she planned. And, well, now I'm not welcome back.

Donna: [into microphone] Hey, here's a fun fact. Money is covered in germs and human waste, so give it to me. Hop in your cars, your trucks, your speed wagons and come on down to Grooves. Speaking of speed wagons, here is a new song from The Cars.

Donna: [into microphone] Okay, it's been two hours and I'm nowhere near my goal. Um, I understand that some of my fans can't make it here because, well, you're in prison. But for those of you who aren't, rob a bank or something. Just kidding. WFPP in no way endorses the robbing of banks.
Leo: I think what you're doing here is great, man.
Donna: Thanks, Leo.
Leo: Yeah, we haven't had a trash can here in ages. [puts wrapper in the collection jar]

Kitty: Okay. I can't put up with those two fighting anymore. It's like living with a couple of Italians. [exits]
Red: Oh, yeah. We moved two fighting morons into an adjacent room, and now we can't sleep. Who could have seen this coming?

Donna: [into microphone] Hot Donna here. Heading into my 12th hour on the air. Our top news story, I've raised $38 and my ass is asleep. I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Where the hell are all my fans?" Yeah, I know you're home listening. I've signed enough of your bellies to know you're not out on dates! You know what? Just forget it. I'll find my own change, you cheap bastards!

Donna: [into microphone] Okay, listen up, you tightwads. I can't go home till I've raised 500 bucks. So this is how it's gonna work. Donate a quarter, I'll take a picture with you. Drop in a dollar, I'll sign your butt. Anybody who donates 50 bucks, I'll take off my clothes and show you stuff!

Fez: Hmm. I never made that sound before. Jackie!
Jackie: [wakes up] What? What's going on?
Fez: You flooded the apartment!
Jackie: What? Oh, I must have fallen asleep with the tub running. Oh, I bet all the hot water's gone.

Fenton: Oh. It's you. What do you want?
Fez: Um, we're just here to borrow some sugar, neighbor.
Fenton: I don't have any. You don't eat sugar and keep this figure.
Fez: Then we'll go. Because everything here looks ship-shape.
[A patch of the ceiling falls down on Fenton's head]
Fez: Good night then.