Donna: Jackie, just go see your mom. She chose you over golden sunsets, frozen margaritas... Man, why aren't we down there?
Jackie: Donna, you don't get her. Because you'll never understand the intoxicating quality of getting anything you want with your looks. Look, she's just here till she finds a new meal ticket.
Donna: [sighs] I don't believe that for a minute. I think she came back to be with you, not to find some lonely rich guy. Your mother is a lovely woman.
Bob: [enters] Donna, Pam and I are gonna catch a movie.
Pamela: It's my first American date in months. [both exit]
Donna: Your mother is a gold-digging tramp.

Jackie: I can't believe my mom is going out with your Bob of a dad.
Donna: What, he's not good enough?
Jackie: Ah! So you see it, too. Look, I expect her to go after a cool rich guy like Jack Nicholson or a Bee Gee. Your dad is cheesy and corny like nachos.
Donna: Well, then no wonder your mom is after him. She'll touch anything from Mexico.

Red: Oh, come on, Kitty, enough with the silent treatment. I didn't say that I like tea because Pam is pretty. I said that I like tea because you were kind enough and courageous enough to open my eyes to a whole new world of hot beverages. Which is just one of the millions of things that you have done to improve my life over all these years.
Kitty: So now I'm old.

Kelso: Hey, he tried to get away again so I had to use his stun gun on him. Yeah, it didn't hurt, though. Done it to myself so many times, I barely feel it anymore.
Eric: Okay, just get in the car.
Kelso: You know, you guys can take me to the academy but as soon as you leave, I'm gone.
Eric: All right, Kelso, that's it. I haven't had sex in weeks, Fez is in a drought not seen since the Great Dust Bowl. We are tightly wound. So, you better tell us what your real problem is or we're gonna freaking throttle you.
Fez: I will tear you apart like a lion.
Kelso: Okay, look, I don't wanna tell you guys because I'm afraid you're gonna make fun of me.
Hyde: Oh, Kelso, of course we're gonna make fun of you.
Kelso: All right, fine. You know what, it's like I'm going to a new school, okay? And I'm worried that I'm not gonna be able to make friends. First off, I'm so much better looking than everyone else. I mean, the only reason you guys are friends with me is because you met me before I blossomed.
Hyde: Man, you should be worried about something that could actually happen, like handcuffing yourself to a horse.
Eric: Look, Kelso, here's the thing, you've stolen my stuff and you've burned my stuff. You've even groped my stuff. But I still hang out with you because you are a great guy. Come on, you're Michael Kelso, right? You're bullet-proof.
Kelso: Yeah, man, you're right. I am bullet-proof. All right, let's get going.
Eric: All right. Hey, by the way, you're not actually bullet-proof.

Donna: Okay, I know we both have different reasons for wanting our parents to stop seeing each other. Like, I hate your mom and your mom's a tramp. But we have to join forces and do everything we can to break them up.
Jackie: Now, I'm with you, Donna. All the couples I've broken up before were just training till now. This one's not for popularity or to make another girl cry, it's for my beautiful mom and your mayonnaise-loving dad.

Kitty: Ooh. How's it going, girls?
Donna: Not good. We just saw Bob and Pam in a hot tub.
Kitty: Bob and Pam are in a hot tub?
Red: [enters] Pam's in a hot tub?
Kitty: There, you- you did it again and this time you didn't even say, "Bob."
Red: Yes, I did.
Kitty: No, you didn't.
Red: Yes, I did. And you would have heard it, too, if it hadn't been for all that damn tea. You know, I fought a war to keep that crap out of this country and you had to bring it into my house and you call yourself an American. Ha! [slinks off]

Hyde: My dad tried to get back in touch with me once. Instead of calling, he just left a six-pack in my car.
Donna: How did you know it was him?
Hyde: He was passed out on the hood.

Jackie: Well, I don't have anything to say to my mom. She ditched me three months ago and that's all I need to know.
Eric: Oh, man, that's really sad. It's like a mother and daughter divided. [to Donna] So, hey, what about some second base action?
Bob: What did I tell you about talking about the bases, Flash?
Eric: Donna?
Donna: He doesn't know why.

Bob: Jackie, you should cut your mom a break. I think she's charming.
Jackie: If she calls again, just tell her I don't wanna see her.
Bob: Well, that's too bad, 'cause I just picked her up from the airport.
Pamela: And here I am.
Jackie: Mom!
Pamela: oh, I love making an entrance. Be a dear and go watch my luggage.
Bob: Really? Thanks.
Jackie: What are you doing here?
Eric: Who cares? Welcome to my driveway, pretty lady. [chuckles] I'm Eric Forman, remember me? Big fan.
Pamela: Oh, right. My toy poodle, Snowball, almost killed you when you were six.
Eric: I was 13, but, yeah.

Hyde: Ms. Burkhart, Steven Hyde, nice to see you again. Just thought I'd let you know that Jackie and I are kind of dating now.
Pamela: Didn't you rob our house?
Hyde: Well, I was in there a few times at night, but I never took anything.