Jackie: There he is, Officer! Here's the guy who is responsible for this illegal gathering of dirty and ugly people.
Officer Ron: These two tell me you organized an illegal bonfire.
Hyde: You two narced on me?
Fez: What?! You stand there and accuse me of narcing? No, sir! No! I did not narc! What's "narc"?
Hyde: Calling the cops.
Fez: Oh, yes, we narced.

Jackie: That's right, Steven, because Fez and I both feel that burning disco records is wrong. Just like burning books, but worse, because disco tells a story.
Officer Ron: Wait, this is a disco-burning bonfire? That's fantastic! Disco sucks!
Hyde: Well, what do you know? A degenerate and a cop having a beer together. It's a disco-sucking miracle.

Donna: Wow. I'm dating a man-slut.
Randy: Look, I'm sure you've dated a lot of people, too. I mean, if we took all the people I've dated and all the people you've dated and put them in a room together...
Donna: We'd have a room full of girls, and Eric.

Hyde: Hey, Jackie. I was thinking of a way to get back at you for calling the cops on me, and then it hit me. You're only here to get with Fez. So I figured, why not find the skankiest, sluttiest, drunkest chick here, give her three more beers, and introduce her to Fez?
Jackie: Oh, you wouldn't!
Hyde: Oh, I already did.
Jackie: You didn't!
Hyde: I just said I did.
Jackie: You wouldn't dare.
Hyde: I did! Turn around and look! Enjoy your evening.

Kitty: Well, Red, you can't let them sit in there all night. What if they rearrange my furniture?
Red: Fine, I'll talk to them.
Kitty: Okay, but handle it gracefully.
Red: Well, of course I will. Give me a little credit. [opens door] Good night, guys! [runs upstairs]

[Fez's dream sequence:]
Indian: Hey, Fez.
Fez: Village People! What are you doing here?
Indian: We came to put a stop to your disco bonfire. Plus my mom lives in Kenosha, so, you know, two birds with one stone.
Fez: Can you keep a secret? I love disco. Yeah, I'm just pretending to hate it so I can get with girls. You guys know how that is, right, guys? [silence]
Indian: So, let's talk about Jackie. You two came here together to defend disco, and you abandoned her to make out with some skank you're never gonna see again.
Fez: And?
Indian: And? It's wrong! What do we have to do, spell it out for you? Because we can, with carefully choreographed arm movements.
Fez: Yeah, you're right. I totally let Jackie down. You are one wise Indian.
Indian: Actually, I'm Puerto Rican. This is just a gig. [winks]

Jackie: This whole night has been a nightmare. You know, I thought Fez was gonna tell me he loved me, but no, he was just trying to be a good friend. Ugh! What a jerk.