[circle in Coach Ferguson's office:]
Coach Ferguson: Tornadoes get a bad rap, man. It's not like the Wizard of Oz. I mean, where are the midgets? I bet I could bench, like, 10 midgets.
Hyde: Hey, look at all the stuff you confiscated. Mine. Mine. Ooh, la, la. Mine now.
Jackie: Why am I not Snow Queen? For the last two weeks, I was nice to everybody. Well, maybe not the A.V. Club, but I mean, come on.
Kelso: Jackie, you can't just be nice for two weeks. You have to be nice all the time. Or very handsome. Oh, my banana nose! Oh. I thought this was gone forever. Ha. It's still funny!
Jackie: Maybe Donna was right. Maybe being popular isn't as important as being nice to people. I mean, I know that sounds wrong, but anything's possible.
Kelso: Hey, Jackie, whatever makes you feel better about being a loser. [Jackie sprays Kelso with a squirt gun] Hey, watch the banana nose!
Coach Ferguson: [chuckles] Hey, Hyde, when this is all over, you think we'll still be friends?
Hyde: Well, my head says no, but my heart says no. So, no. I wonder what Donna and Forman are doing right now.

[Jackie's dream sequence:]
Jackie: Oh, Toto. Losing Snow Queen has left me searching for guidance. Surely, the Wizard of Oz can help.
Kelso: Oh, well- Jackie, why'd you make me the Scarecrow? He needs a brain.
Jackie: No. No, I made you the Scarecrow because you love chasing birds.
Kelso: I do love chasing birds.
Jackie: Okay.
Hyde: Is this some kind of joke, 'cause I'm not laughing. Kelso's the Scarecrow? [chuckles]
Jackie: Yeah.
Fez: Look, guys! I'm a bear.
Jackie: Fez, you're the Cowardly Lion.
Fez: But I want to be a bear.
Kelso: At least you got a brain.
Hyde: This sucks.
Jackie: Oh, will everyone just shut up? When it's your dream, you can be whatever you want.
Fez: I want to be a bear.
Donna: Jackie, what the hell?
Eric: [laughs] She totally made you a witch. That's so awesome!
Donna: She made you a flying monkey.
Eric: What? Oh, crap!
Donna: Let's kick her ass!
Hyde: Yeah.
Jackie: [screams] Miss Wizard, I'm confused. I lost Snow Queen. And now I'm wondering if titles and popularity aren't as important as being a good person.
Wizard: Well, how do you know when you're a good person? When everyone likes you, right? When you're popular. [Jackie gasps] And how do you know when you're popular?
Jackie: Oh, my God! When you win titles like Snow Queen! Winning titles and being a good person are the same thing.
Wizard: So you go after that title, child.
Jackie: Oh, I will, Miss Wizard. I will.
Wizard: And remember, if someone calls you shallow, they're just jealous. [echoes] Just jealous. Jealous. Jealous.

Fez: Ah, our own private stairwell. This is exactly how I pictured losing my virginity. Except it was on a bed of flowers and there were two of you.
Vice Principal Cole: Tornado passed through, is heading to Illinois. Kiss my ass, Chicago. [Fez takes his shirt off]
Rhonda: Oh, my God! We're- We're safe. Sex just doesn't seem important anymore.
Fez: I- I disagree. And- And here's why.
Rhonda: Let's go celebrate with everyone. [snorts]
Fez: [to the heavens] Oh, you can make a tornado, but you can't let me do it? Oh, you are not a just God!

Donna: This was fun. We haven't just hung out in, like, forever. Plus, you're, like, my hero. Most guys would not risk a tornado for an ex-girlfriend.
Eric: Yeah. [kisses Donna]
Donna: Wow.
Eric: Yeah, well, I just wanted to kiss you before you found out that I went to the dance, forgot you and I didn't know about the tornado. Okay, this was swell.
Donna: Wait, wait, wait. So, you forgot me?
Eric: Okay, you're mad.
Donna: Actually, no. I mean, if we were still dating, I'd be super pissed. But we're not, so it's kind of funny.
Eric: You know what? Let me buy you a burger.
Donna: I can't believe you totally snaked a kiss under false pretenses.
Eric: Yeah, I'm a little proud of that, yeah.

Donna: Hey, you know what? We should all go to Snow Prom together, in one car. All of us hanging out, laughing, driving. Whoo-hoo. Good times.
Eric: You need a ride, don't you?
Donna: I so do. Pick me up at the radio station.

Eric: It's weird. I feel like I'm forgetting something. I've got my watch, my wallet, my who-am-I-kidding condom.
Hyde: Yeah, sounds like you got everything, except for a tall redhead.
Eric: Yeah. What man doesn't love a tall red- Oh, my God, Donna! I forgot Donna.

Coach Ferguson: Mr. Hyde? In school after hours? What, are you trying to establish an alibi?
Hyde: Coach Ferguson, shouldn't you be on the football field teaching boys to play with balls? Don't push my buttons, wiseacre. [Ferguson walks away] And there he goes. I think now is a good time to go fumigate his office.

Vice Principal Cole: I have exciting news for you two. Michael, you have been elected Snow King.
Kelso: Yeah!
Vice Principal Cole: And, Jackie, you are the new Snow Queen runner-up.
Jackie: Oh, my God. This is the happiest day of my life! Wait, runner-up?! How could that be? There's been a mistake! It was fixed!
Vice Principal Cole: You poke me one more time, I'm gonna paddle you.
Kelso: That'd be hot.

Jackie: Michael, this is my worst nightmare.
Kelso: A tornado is your worst nightmare? Mine's monsters.
Jackie: How could I be runner-up? If I'm not a rich, popular girl, I'm nothing. I'm like Donna.
Kelso: No, Jackie, you are the girlfriend to the Snow King. Now, as Snow King, I must lead my people to safety. All right, everyone! Everyone. Follow me. [opens closet door] Remain calm, people! These are just sports balls! Everyone grab a ball!

Hyde: Oh, yeah.
Coach Ferguson: Busted, hophead.