Kitty: Steven, what's in the bag?
Kelso: The Packers winning next year's Super Bowl. That's what's in the bag.
Red: Is that what I think it is?
Kelso: If you mean paprika, yes, sir.
Kitty: Honey- Honey, paprika is red.
Kelso: If you mean green paprika, yes, sir!
Red: Green paprika?!
Kelso: Hyde, what am I looking for here?
Hyde: Oregano.
Kelso: If you mean oregano, yes, sir!

Kelso: Wow. Chicks must really dig astronauts, 'cause it says here that astronauts get all the Tang they want.

Eric: Look, Mom, maybe you should stop worrying about everyone else so much and start thinking about yourself. Maybe you should find something to enrich your life. Oh, may I suggest the teachings of the Jedi?
Red: And may I suggest the footing of your ass?
Eric: This is not the ass you're looking for. See, now you don't know what to do.

Red: You know, it occurs to me that since I paid the allowance that bought those records in the first place, that money's mine.
Eric: Well, it occurs to me that possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Red: Keep up with the smart mouth, and my foot will be 9/10ths of the way up your ass.
Hyde: You know, Forman, you should write a book: Things My Father Threatened To Put In My Ass. "Chapter One: His Foot." I'd buy that.

Red: Bob, I'm sorry that I said that your idea is stupid.
Kitty: And?
Red: And... The next time you have a stupid idea, I'll just keep my mouth shut.
Bob: You know what, Red? I really don't give a damn what you think. All these years I've had to put up with you cutting me down, calling me dumbass. Well, guess what? You're the dumbass! You're nothing but a cranky [bleep] who thinks his [bleep] don't stink, so you can blow it out your [bleep] ass! What? What, you want to hit me? Go ahead, you bald [bleep]. Yeah, go ahead, do it! I'm not afraid of you. In fact, I'll kick your bony [bleep] ass right now!
Red: Bob, you've got some nerve! Good for you! It's about time you stuck up for yourself and acted like a man.
Bob: I'm sorry, Red, it just slipped out. [hugs Red]

[circle:]
Eric: Crap, it's almost time for me to go get my shots. Yeah, why do I have to get shots anyway? So I get Yellow Fever. I could use a little color.
Fez: You guys, this might be our last circle together. We're growing up. I mean, these two have jobs, and Eric is off to start his life, and I'm doing more shaving than ever.
Kelso: Eric, I know you're scared of getting your shots. So I'm gonna be a pal and get them with you, 'cause I owe you for that time that I chucked that dead raccoon at you, and then it turned out to not be dead. And then it bit you, and then you kicked it back at me, and then it bit me, and then we both had to go and get rabies shots.
Hyde: [laughs] Remember, on the way to the hospital, Kelso saw that dog, and he jumped out of the car 'cause he wanted to go pet it, but he forgot the car was moving, and he broke his arm? That was the funniest, bloodiest, most rabies-filled day ever.
Eric: Look at us. Best friends offering to help each other. You know, we always have to remember this moment.
[As Red stands behind Eric in the circle, Fez, Kelso and Hyde look up in awe]
Eric: What?
Red: Upstairs, now.
Eric: I am in huge trouble. [laughs]

Eric: Okay, Donna, I'm ready for my going-away present. Yahoo.
Donna: [o.s.] All right, here I come.
[Donna walks out dressed as Princess Leia]
Eric: Holy Mother of Skywalker.
Donna: You can do whatever you want to Princess Leia. Her force field is down.
Eric: Donna, this is the best... Wait a second, Leia doesn't have a force field. She... Oh, you know what? I'm too excited to quibble.

Angie Barnett: Why is it every time I leave the room, you guys do this?
Kelso: It's Thanksgiving. Some people bake pies, we bake ourselves.

Donna: She chose Fez because he listens when a woman talks instead of staring at her chest. Stop staring at my chest!
Kelso: I'm sorry, look, I've been screwed by Darwinism. I never needed to evolve listening skills, 'cause my looks are so highly developed.
Donna: Um, that's not how evolution works.
Kelso: Yeah, sure it is. Look, say I had to catch my own food, right, but I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.
Hyde: Man, it's amazing your brain doesn't evolve into pudding.

Kitty: Well, don't feel insulted, Bob. Red wouldn't even give his own child a job. If you had a muffler shop, wouldn't you give Donna a job?
Bob: Sure, Donna knows her way around a car. But Eric thinks an exhaust belt is something that holds up your pants when you're tired. [chuckles]
Red: There's no such thing as an exhaust belt, Bob.
Bob: Well, then he thinks something else is something else.