‘Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too Young to Die’
Season 3, Episode 4 - Aired October 31, 2000
When Eric and friends don't have anything to do on Halloween, they find themselves in scenarios from Alfred Hitchcock movies.
Quote from Laurie
Kitty: So, how'd it go? Did- Did you feed the birds?
Laurie: Well, uh... Yeah. I mean, I think I did.
Kitty: Well, either you did or you didn't.
Laurie: Well, you didn't either, and you didn't even get pooped on. Now, go feed your own stupid birds.
Quote from Fez
Fez: [inner monologue] Oh, Hyde, please be careful. I want you to catch some clues but I don't want you stuck in the garbage bag with dead, naked Midge. Oh, beers. [chuckles] [laughs] Hyde is so funny. Oh. Oh, what is he going to do? Is he going to moon me? [laughs] Oh, run, Hyde, run. Don't forget the beers.
Quote from Kelso
Laurie: Why are you in my bathroom? Get out! Out! Out! I need the shower. I got pooped on.
Kelso: All right, stop it. Cut it out. [water flushes] [Kelso screams] That's really hot.
Laurie: Oh, my God. You spilled my shampoo, you idiot!
Quote from Bob
Fez: [gasps] Help. [sobs] You can't kill me like you killed Midge, you big doofy.
Bob: Midge? I didn't kill Midge. She's in Chicago visiting her sister.
Fez: Oh, really? Then what was in the heavy garbage sacks?
Bob: Garbage, you idiot.
Hyde: Oh, well, I guess that explains the giant knife guts all over your apron. Oh, wait. No, it doesn't.
Fez: Explain that, killer.
Bob: They were pumpkin guts. I was making jack-o'-lanterns.
Fez: So, you're hiding Midge's body in a jack-o'-lantern. Clever plan.
Bob: [sighs] Look, there's Midge now. Not dead or nothing.
Fez: Oh, goody. You can go now. Thanks.
Bob: Midgie, no! Cover yourself!
Quote from Eric
Eric: Donna! Donna! Why would she go up the water tower? Why does she want to be up there? And why am I talking to myself?
Quote from Eric
Eric: Donna, what the hell are you doing?
Donna: Well, I guess you've caught me. And if you must know the truth I'm not boring, you ass.
Eric: I never said you were boring. How'd you know I'd follow you here?
Donna: I saw you spying on me.
Eric: I wasn't- No, I wasn't spying on you. I was teaching Fez how to spy on your naked- Yeah, you know what, I was spying on you. What a weird night.
Quote from Donna
Eric: So, you know, Donna, even though my ankle's sprained I can still probably make it up that water tower. You know, finish what we started.
Donna: I would, but I don't know if I can. I mean, something happened to me up there too.
Eric: Oh, I know. Vertigo, right? Fear of heights?
Donna: No, Eric. Fear of sex.