Eric: Okay, Fez, this'll cheer you up. With these you can look into the Pinciotti's house and frequently enjoy a naked Midge, up close and personal.
Fez: That's exactly how I like my naked Midges.
Eric: Oh, but, Fez, be warned. If Bob approaches a naked Midge, look away. Oh, for the love of God, look away. Okay, let's practice. Naked Midge, naked Midge, naked Midge, naked Midge, Bob.
Fez: Ay.
Eric: Okay, I think you're gonna be okay.

Kitty: Red, I need you to take this soup up to Fez.
Red: No, Kitty. He's wearing ladies' underwear. So, uh, no.
Kitty: Well, crazy bird lady from next door called me. Her bingo cruise got stuck out on Lake Michigan so she asked me to feed her birds. So, you have a choice. Feed the birds, or feed the Fez.
Red: Give me panty boy's damn soup.

Kelso: [doorbell rings] Oh, kick back. I'll get it.
Red: No, it's the paperboy. [ringing continues]
Kelso: Well, Mr. Forman, you have to answer the door.
Red: Look, I forgot to pay him for the last couple of weeks and I didn't pick up any cash, so, just ignore him.
Kelso: Red, I don't think you understand, okay? I- I can't let a doorbell go unanswered. [ringing continues]
Red: Don't answer the damn door.
Kelso: I gotta.
Red: Don't.
Kelso: But I gotta.
Red: All right. Fine. You pay him, kettlehead. [exits]

Paperboy: Hey, Forman. I want my money.
Kelso: Oh, I- Oh. There's no Formans here. See for yourself.
Paperboy: Then why does it say Forman on your shirt?
Kelso: Oh, I borrowed the shirt.
Paperboy: That's a bunch of bullcorn, Forman. Now, give me my money.
Kelso: I'm not Forman.
[As Kelso tries to shut the door, the paperboy sticks his foot in the way]
Kelso: All right, look. Don't you think you're taking this paperboy thing a little too serious?
Paperboy: I'm a very serious paperboy.
Kelso: Okay, you know what this is? This is a case of mistaken identity. See, you are mistaken about my identity.
Paperboy: Fork it over, Forman!
Kelso: Look, someone's stealing your bike. [closes door] All right, there's two guys stupider than me.

Hyde: Any sign of naked Midge yet?
Fez: No. Just Bob dragging in big, heavy garbage bags. What do you suppose is in 'em?
Hyde: Oh, I don't know. I'm guessing garbage.
Fez: Or... You know how Mrs. Kitty said she hasn't seen Midge in a few days? What if naked Midge is in the bags?

Jackie: Donna, what's wrong? You look sad.
Donna: I think Eric thinks I'm boring. Do you think I'm boring?
Jackie: Oh, Donna. Yeah, a little. But it's not like it's a bad thing. The world needs people like you. You're the gray that makes the color - me - pop.
Donna: Jackie, I'm not boring. Eric and I do lots of fun stuff together. We go to movies.
Jackie: Every Friday, early show.
Donna: What? I get sleepy.
Jackie: Mm-hmm.
Donna: Oh, no.

Eric: Hey, who's the hot blonde? That's not a hot blonde. It's Donna. Where is she going?
Hyde: Maybe she's going trolling for men who don't piss her off.
Eric: Oh. [chuckles] That's so funny, Hyde. I don't know where she's going, but I'm gonna follow her.

Hyde: Hey, I don't know how this fits in your murder theory but Bob's wearing an apron with guts all over it and holding a big carving knife.
Fez: He did kill Midge. And I never got to see her naked.

Paperboy: That's 2.50 plus a 50 cent tip 'cause I'm good. See you next week, Forman.
Kelso: I'm not Forman!

Kelso: First of all, Mrs. Forman, I'm using your shower. And second of all, you have to pay your paperboy.