Eric: Hey, hey. Do you guys hear that?
Fez: That was me. I had hot dogs for lunch.
Eric: Not that. I'm talking about the sweet sound of no women.
Kelso: Oh, I never hear that. Jackie's voice is burned into my brain. I wish it would stop, but it won't.
Eric: Remember back in the day when it was just us guys? That was good times.
Hyde: More like desperate, "I don't care if she has a mustache I'll take her anyway" times.
Eric: You know what? I say, who needs women? Come on! Let's get crazy. What was that? Did someone say mini golf?
Kelso: Oh, I'm still not allowed back in there. I mean, what's the point of having a windmill you can't ride?

Eric: Hyde, what's going on? I thought this was supposed to be guys' night.
Hyde: Don't worry about it, man. She's- She's cool. She's like one of us. In three beers, she'll be belching like a Kennedy.
Kelso: This is "guys' night only," man.
Fez: Yeah, I say out with the whore.
Jill: Hey, I'll buy the next round of beer.
Fez: The whore stays.

Bob: Boy, that Joanne. She's something, huh?
Donna: Yeah, she's nice. I like her.
Bob: Good. Good. Me too. Not that I'm ready to jump into anything. I hate jumping. Makes me jiggle. But I won't like her if it bothers you 'cause I know you've had a tough time since your mom left.
Donna: No, Dad, I think it's nice that you have a friend.
Bob: Really?
Donna: Yeah. I also think it's nice that you're bathing and shaving again.
Bob: Yeah. That was a long eight weeks, wasn't it?
Donna: So long.

Rhonda: Hiya, princess.
Jackie: Rhonda? What are you doing here?
Rhonda: Waiting for Fez, chomping some cheese curls.
Jackie: You know what? Michael doesn't tell me where he goes either. I hate that.
Rhonda: Kelso and Fez are on their way back from bowling. They want to make out.
Jackie: How'd you know all this?
Fez: [enters] Let's French, ladies!
Jackie: Michael, she's in the loop. Why am I not in the loop?
Kelso: All right. Look, Jackie. I don't know what loop you're talking about, but if she's already in it I don't think there's gonna be room for you too.

Pastor Dave: And on a personal note, I have an announcement to make. I have always found happiness in serving the good people of Point Place. But after talking to a dear friend I realized that church is just not where the party is, if you know what I mean. So I'm resigning as your pastor thanks to my friend Red Forman. Red, give the crowd a wave.
Kitty: [to Red] Well, if you weren't going to hell before, you're going first class now.

Eric: So it's just supposed to be guys' night out, right? And in walks Hyde's skank of the week to wreck it all. Years of friendship trumped by one pair of lopsided boobs. Yeah, that's right. I noticed, but I didn't say anything... because I'm nice.
Donna: I had to talk to my dad's new girlfriend about the sex they had last night.
Eric: Yeah, okay, you win.
Donna: You know, at first, I thought it was great my dad had a friend. But when I found out they were doing it, it took things to, like, a sick place, you know? And it really made me realize that my mom is gone. Like, gone.
Eric: Maybe you should say something.
Donna: No. He's been through so much. I mean, I want him to be happy, you know?
Eric: Yeah. So Bob's sleeping with Joanne, huh? God, am I, like, the only guy in Point Place who's not getting any?
Donna: Yes. Yes, you are.
Eric: And you think that's funny?
Donna: Yes. Yes, I do.

Kitty: Well, Mrs. Candiotti just told me to shove a very holy book in a very unholy place. Nice going, Red. The whole church hates us now.
Red: Kitty, I had nothing to do with Dave leaving the church. You know, God works in mysterious ways. "Let he who is without"-
Kitty: Oh, can it. Well, the torch-carrying mob will be here any minute. Better turn on the light.
Red: They won't need a light. They've got torches. [laughs]

Jackie: Look, all I know is you are not a part of this gang.
Rhonda: Really? Well, Snow White, why don't we wrestle for it? And if I win, I'm in. Street rules. No tap-outs.
Jackie: Okay, okay, you're in!
Rhonda: Yay, I'm in!
Fez: That's nice, but maybe you should wrestle her anyways.
Kelso: Oh, yeah! All right. Shirts off. Let's get it on!

Hyde: And you can drop it, all right? She dumped me.
Eric: What?
Hyde: Yeah. She said she didn't like you. I told her, "Too bad. We're friends." And that was it.
Eric: Oh, man, I feel terrible. Is there anything I can do?
Hyde: I don't know, man. I kind of really liked her.
Eric: Hey, how does 10 bucks sound?
Hyde: Forman, 10 lousy bucks can't replace Jill.
Eric: Yeah. How about 20?
Hyde: Jill who?

Jill: Why did you lie to me?
Eric: Yeah, and me.
Hyde: Well, the thing is... you like the Little River Band. I mean, I- I can't be with a girl who likes the Little River Band.
Eric: Yeah, take that, missy!
Hyde: And you! You wouldn't shut up about me making out on guys' night, which wouldn't have bothered you if you had a tongue stuck down your throat. So for the love of God, man, find a tongue!
Eric: I do need a tongue. Hey, Jill, I like the Little River Band.
Jill: Ugh, you're both freaks!