Hyde: Mrs. Pinciotti? Look, I was thinking about getting a present for this girl. And you know, she's about Donna's age so I was kinda wondering what Donna... likes.
Midge: Perfume. Donna wears White Shoulders. It's not just for shoulders, you can wear it anywhere.
Hyde: Really?
Midge: Sure. Like your neck, or the mall.
Hyde: Wow! All right. Well, how much does a bottle of that run?
Midge: Oh, about $12.
Hyde: Well, what about a bottle of crappy perfume? What does that run?
Midge: Gosh, I don't know. I'll call Bob's mom.

Hyde: Jackie, come here.
Jackie: Why?
Hyde: Just come here.
Jackie: Hyde, if you want to make out with me, the answer's probably no.

Hyde: Look, Jackie I know this girl, right? And I want to get her a Christmas present.
Jackie: My God, it's Donna!
Hyde: It's not Donna.
Jackie: Okay, it's not Donna. So how much do you have to spend?
Hyde: $6.
Jackie: You don't deserve a girl like Donna for $6.
Hyde: I'm not trying to get Donna.
Jackie: Good, 'cause you won't, for $6.
Hyde: You know what? Thanks a lot, never mind, bye-bye.

Fez: May I ask you a question?
Hyde: Sure.
Fez: What the hell are you doing?
Hyde: What?
Fez: Buying Donna a gift. You know Eric likes her.
Hyde: I know, man, but, you know, they're not officially-
Fez: Still, in my country, I would string you from the tallest tree.
Hyde: We're not in your country, Fez.
Fez: Right. So good luck with Donna.

Kitty: Oh, no, Laurie. No, that punch is for Eric's party. Here, why don't you take this tonic out to the bar? Make sure we have enough rum and vodka.
Bernice: All that rum and vodka. Kitty, you have a problem.
Kitty: It's for the party, Bernice.
Bernice: Oh, that's convenient. All I know is that my Red didn't start to drink until he met you.
Kitty: And I didn't start to drink until I met you. [laughs] Merry Christmas.

Midge: May I help you?
Police Officer: Ma'am, do you own the 1969 tan Oldsmobile station wagon in the driveway?
Midge: No, I don't.
Police Officer: Do you know who does?
Midge: Yes, I do.
Police Officer: Could you get them, please?
Midge: Sure. Red!

Kelso: So, Eric, what are you doing Christmas Eve?
Eric: Well, my parents are having the same, lame Christmas party they have every year. All the adults: "Neighbor, is that mistletoe?"

Kitty: Oh, what are you guys doing watching cartoons? Holiday Inn is on. [sings] Where the treetops glisten La, la, la, listen

[Kitty and Eric scream]
Eric: We were going through a box of Christmas decorations and we found the Christmas rat.

Eric: Hey, Dad, one more thing about the party. I need some money.
Red: All right, Eric. I want you to pick out this year's tree. And, whatever you don't spend you can use for your party.
Eric: Dad, you know how much I hate haggling with those tree-
Red: Haggling is part of being an adult. Here's $40.
Eric: I want $50.
Red: Knock it off! Pick out a good one.