‘That Wrestling Show’
Season 1, Episode 15 - Aired February 7, 1999
After Kitty encourages Red to spend more time with Eric, they both go to a wrestling match featuring Rocky Johnson (Dwayne Johnson). Meanwhile, Midge starts seeing a therapist, and Jackie is taking orders from Kelso since they had sex.
Quote from Jackie
Donna: Jackie, what the hell is going on between you and Kelso?
Jackie: Look, Michael Kelso and I have made beautiful love.
Donna: Ew! I mean- No, ew. Why are you being such a doormat?
Jackie: Look, I have to be nice. What if he gets bored now?
Donna: Jackie, he's gonna want to do it again.
Jackie: So what you're saying is, I'm totally in charge.
Donna: I mean, a partnership-
Jackie: No. I own him! I am the man.
Donna: Jackie-
Jackie: No, no. Thank you, Donna.
Quote from Red
Red: There he is.
Eric: Mr. Johnson, you gave that team of midgets an ass whupping, sir!
Rocky Johnson: You pile drive a little guy and the whole crowd turns on you. When you're standing there, wondering what they're booing about you get bit on the kneecaps. Look at my knees. Midget bites.
Red: I wonder if you'd mind giving my son an autograph.
Manager: No. No autographs.
Red: Look, pal, I might be the only guy in here who's actually killed a man.
Manager: Give the kid an autograph. And then, no more autographs.
Rocky Johnson: That's really nice. Bringing your kid to a wrestling match. You know, I've got a son. And one day, he's gonna become the most electrifying man in sports entertainment.
Red: Yeah, well, good luck with that. Uh, wanna make that out to Red Forman?
Eric: No, no. I don't think so. It's Eric Forman. Capital E-R-I-C.
Red: Yeah, but see, his nickname is Red.
Eric: No, it's not, it's Eric.
Red: Stop kidding around, Red!
Quote from Jackie
Kelso: You know, babe, a soda would taste pretty good right about now.
Jackie: Yeah, you're right. A soda does sound pretty good. I'll have a diet.
Kelso: Yeah, I'll have a root beer. [both remain seated] Oh, don't you want to go get it for me? Sweetie?
Jackie: Okay, let me clear it up for you. Get me a soda. Now! [Kelso walks off] Did you see that? I'm the man.
Quote from Bob
[After Bob sits down between Fez and Hyde with two beers, he gives them each a cup and puts his arms around them]
Bob: It all started about six months ago when Midgie got a subscription to Cosmo.
Quote from Kitty
Therapist: These group sessions are about testing your boundaries losing your inhibitions, and really sharing with the group. Kitty, are you ready?
Laurie: Share a little, Mom. Tell us how folding the dishtowels just right makes all our problems go away.
Kitty: You want me to share? Okay. Laurie, you're mean to your brother and you're screwing around at college. We don't even see you unless you run out of clean clothes or need cash. You're an ungrateful, spoiled brat. [laughs] Well, thank you. That was nice. [laughs] I love you, honey.
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: You and Jackie did not do it.
Kelso: We so did it.
Fez: You're always saying that you did it.
Eric: Kelso, she wears the pants, and they have never come off.
Kelso: Look at my face. This is a face that did it. [all stare]
Fez: Holy smokes, I think he did it.
All: Kelso did it!
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: Congratulations, man. Plus, you did it in record time.
Kelso: Yeah, you think?
Hyde: No, you moron. You've been kissing her ass for over a year.
Kelso: Yeah, but that's over, man. It's hard to explain to you kids that have never had sex before, but when you're with a woman, something chemical happens to her. Now, Jackie is totally different. She's like my love slave. Oh, yeah, I'm that good.
Quote from Eric
Jackie: Hi, sweetie. How are you?
Kelso: Well, actually, I'm a little bit chilly. But I left my coat up in the car.
Jackie: [gasps] I'll go get it for you. Miss me. [blows an air kiss] [exits]
Kelso: Handy little thing, isn't she?
Eric: Okay, that was so cool.
Donna: Cool?
Eric: And by "cool" I mean "wrong and stupid."
Quote from Eric
Kitty: Okay, well, isn't this nice? My whole family together. Mostly. Having family fun. Because that's what dinner is for. Right, Red?
Red: Okay. [clears throat] So... Eric... what happened at school today?
Eric: Why? What'd you hear?
Red: What's wrong with you? I can't ask a simple question?
Kitty: Red. Red, you need some potatoes.
Red: Um... [clears throat] Good job on returning those books.
Eric: Well, yeah, I returned the books. [quietly] Even though it was kind of stupid.
Red: What?
Laurie: He said it was stupid, Daddy.
Kitty: Okay. Okay. [laughs]
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Eric, what are you gonna do this weekend?
Eric: Oh, me and the gang are gonna catch that wrestling match in Kenosha.
Kitty: Oh, well, now, isn't that something? Because a certain Mr. Red Forman used to wrestle in high school.
Red: [chuckles] No, no, no. What I did then was real. That stuff on TV, that's, um... That's all an act.
Kitty: Oh, I don't know. I bet if the two of you went together, you'd really enjoy yourselves. Right, guys?
Eric: No, Mom, I don't-
Red: I'm really busy-
Kitty: [pounds the table] So, you're going. [laughs]