Red: Kitty, could you get that? I'm fixing the drawer. [clears throat]
Kitty: Oh, dear God. Your mother has already called me five times this morning. Red, you answer it.
Red: Kitty, I don't want to talk to her.
Kitty: She gave birth to you.
Red: [answers phone] Hello. Hi, Ma. Really? [to Kitty] It's for you.
Kitty: [takes phone] Hello, Mother Forman. Just like I told you, I don't know, half an hour ago the kids will be there at noon to pick you up. Yep, you're right. I need to work on my attitude. Bye then. [hangs up] [to Laurie] You know I could have married Bill Bower. His mother was dead.

Fez: So you made out with a college girl?
Eric: Kind of.
Hyde: Start talking.
Kelso: Tell it like a story, like a sexy story.
Eric: Okay. She, like, jammed her entire tongue into my mouth. And you wouldn't think a girl had, like, that much tongue, you know?

Eric: Look, you guys don't understand. I can't hide anything. The minute she looks at me she's gonna know.
Donna: [enters] Hey, what are you guys talking about?
Eric: I kissed a girl.
Kelso: Oh, my God. You bastard.
Fez: Shocking!
Hyde: I am appalled! [Kelso, Fez and Hyde exit]

Eric: Look, Donna... Um, can we talk?
Midge: I'll leave you two-
Donna: No. You should stay. We don't have secrets in our house. We don't sneak around on each other like a little horny rat kissing other girls. [Midge gasps]
Eric: Look, Donna... Um, please come to my house for Thanksgiving dessert. Everyone's gonna be there. You always come. Please don't let some stupid thing that I did wreck that.
Donna: Well, I can't depend on you so why should you be able to depend on me?
Eric: Look... Donna, please, okay? I'm really sorry. And I feel really bad.
Donna: Good!

Red: Amen. Let's eat.
Kitty: Now, is everything on the table? I still feel like I forgot something. [phone rings] Oh, my God, I forgot your mother. No! [answers phone] Hello, Mother Forman. No, I didn't forget you. Oh, I don't know, the kids left a half hour ago to pick you up. I can't imagine what's keeping them. [to Red] Put that back.
Eric: Hi. The Toyota is blocking the car, I need the keys.
Kitty: Could you hold on one teeny tiny second? [covers the phone] For the love of God, move! Are you sure they're not there? Look out your window. Now, do you have your glasses on? [laughs]

Hyde: So, Kate, you and Eric? Like The Graduate, older woman, younger man.

Kelso: You know, if breaking up couples is your thing you can do your thing with me, 'cause-
Jackie: Michael!

Fez: Hello, Kate. May I see your giant tongue?