Fez: All this food for 45 cents, it is unbelievable. [eats] Oh, I see.

Eric: You got the masks?
Hyde: Yeah, I got three Snoopys and one Nixon.
Hyde, Kelso & Fez: Not it.
Eric: Damn. Fez, how'd you know how to do that?
Fez: My country invented "not it."

Kelso: Hey, you hitting on my girlfriend?
Jackie: Michael, he's not-
Guy: Hey, man. You wanna go? Come on. Yeah, let's go, cowboy!
[As Kelso starts to take off his trench coat and square up to the guy, Eric, Hyde and Fez drag him away]
Kelso: You are so lucky I'm naked, pal.
Eric: Shut up.

Midge: There's supposed to be a blue field of stars there. [sees Donna] Oh, honey. [the crowd clap as Donna stands next to Bob and Midge]
Bob: Now, if we just start to sway back and forth it'll look like the flag is waving in the wind.
Donna: Oh, God.

Red: Hey, son.
Eric: Hi, Dad. Hey, good job at the rally today.
Red: Not bad. I kind of stumbled there at the start but I think I nailed him with a good one.
Eric: Anyway, it was pretty cool.
Red: Yeah, well sometimes a man's gotta do what he thinks is right.
Eric: Yeah, I'm gonna call it a night.
Red: All right, son. Good night.
Eric: Good night, Dad.
Red: Oh, and next time, don't wear black socks. You looked like an ass.

Hyde: Oh! Man, I just thought of something.
Eric: What?
Hyde: What are we going to do with our trench coats? I mean, after we rip them off, we can't come back here and get them.
Fez: Oh, man.
Eric: Shucks.
Hyde: God, this is all my fault. You know what? [sighs] I'll hold the coats. You guys streak.
Eric: Thanks.

Kelso: Push. Push. Come on, you gotta push it.
Hyde: How much longer?
Kelso: 10 seconds. You gotta push harder or it's not gonna work.
Hyde: This is so stupid.
Kelso: It's not stupid. You're gonna love it.
Hyde: I'm not gonna love it.
Kelso: Okay, that's time. Step away from the door.
Fez: Kelso, you're a genius.
Kelso: Yeah, well, it's magic.

Jackie: Oh, my God. Finally. I am so dehydrated.
Eric: Well, here. Piggly-Wiggly Diet Creme Soda.
Jackie: I told you my top three choices were Tab, Fresca, or Diet Rite.
Eric: Again, you get Piggly-Wiggly Diet Creme Soda.
Jackie: Then I'll just have water.
Donna: You know, there's a hose in the backyard.
Kelso: I've noticed that the pop selection has really went downhill since your dad got laid off.
Eric: He's not laid off, he's just part-time. And shut up.

Kitty: Kids. Kids, kids, kids. The President is coming.
Eric: What President?
Kelso: The President of these United States, Gerald R. Ford, the 36th ...8th... 40th... I don't know. He's the President.
Eric: Why would Ford come to Point Place?
Jackie: Because we are a whistle-stop along his Wisconsin campaign trail. My dad organized it.
Kitty: Dear, the next time you know a president is coming to town please give me a little more notice. I need to vacuum. Eric, you tidy up this basement. A pie! I gotta make a pie!

Red: Tuna casserole again?
Kitty: Well, okay, how about we don't pay the car insurance and we'll all have steak?