Bob: I can't believe she went to that class. Married women do not abandon their families.
Donna: Sure they do, Dad. It's the '70s.
Bob: I know what decade it is. Doesn't change the fact I'm eating a sandwich instead of a hot meal.
Donna: You want me to microwave it for you?
Bob: I just don't understand why she needs this. I've given her a great life.
Donna: Dad, that's not the issue. The whole point of the Equal Rights Amendment is so that women don't have to define themselves by a man.
Bob: Donna, is this about clothes? 'Cause I can buy you clothes.
Donna: This is pointless.
Bob: Hey, while you're up, you wanna get daddy a beer? Honey?

Kelso: Eric, you've gotta do something, man.
Eric: Me? What about you, Kelso? Or Hyde?
Hyde: I can't talk to cops, man. I go insane with rage.
Kelso: Oh. And me, too. Nuts. Whoo!

Midge: Oh. Hi, Bob.
Bob: Midge, I've been thinking. If taking that class made you happy, then I guess I'm happy.
Midge: Sweetie, it means so much to me. And it's only twice a week, so it's not-
Bob: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought this was a one-time deal.
Midge: Bob, you can't learn total female empowerment in one night. It takes 10 nights.
Bob: Wait. Nuh-uh. Midge, you are not going back.
Midge: Aphrodite, the Goddess of War wouldn't take this and neither will I!

Kelso: Jackie.
Jackie: Michael, you've been sprung. Oh! [hugs Kelso]
Kelso: You don't know what it's like on the inside, Jackie.
Jackie: Did they beat you?
Kelso: Yeah.
Jackie: Damn those police.
Kelso: Oh, no. It was Hyde. But he really frogged me.

Jackie: Oh, poor baby.
Kelso: Thanks, Jackie. [closes door] Okay, so let's do this thing.
Jackie: Oh, oh, this is so perfect. I don't even miss the peignoir, the pirate shirt, or the wind.
Kelso: What about the banner?
Jackie: It's okay. The important thing is, I'm here with you. And I'm prepared to give myself to you... body, mind, and soul. Michael, this is going to be the most magical night of our lives. Oh, yeah, and one more thing. My parents are at the A&P, so we only have, like, 15 minutes. [Jackie turns on music and lights a candle] [they kiss]

Eric: Oh, hreat, no pickles. Now we gotta go back.
All: Shut up!
Eric: Why does Sully have a statue of the Virgin Mary on his dashboard?
Kelso: I don't know. Maybe he's, like, religious or something.
Hyde: Wasn't Sully in prison for arson?
Kelso: Yeah. People who burn stuff believe in God, too, Hyde.
Hyde: Why does his key chain say, "I love Bingo"?
Fez: Sully must love Bingo.
Eric: All right, I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't Sully's car.
Kelso: Then whose car is it? [police siren wails]

Hyde: Look, Forman, I'll be in as much trouble as you as are as soon as Edna sobers up.

Kelso: Eric, you gotta help us.
Eric: So now I'm back in charge? This is so typical. Okay, you know what? Fine. Once again, I'll suck it up, be the man and save all your sorry asses. [knocks on cell door] Officer, I need to talk to you, please. [steps outside] [cries] You gotta let me go! Please, God. My dad's gonna kill me.
Police Officer #1: You stole a car, kid. What kind of cop would I be if I just let you go?
Eric: My best friend the cop? Look, it really wasn't my fault. We borrowed it from a friend.
Police Officer #1: Yeah, haven't heard that one before. Hey, guess what? They didn't really steal the car. They borrowed it from a friend.
Police Officer #2: Well, actually, they did. Turns out this guy Sully borrowed it from his grandmother and she forgot and called it in stolen. Nice old lady, though. She plays bingo.
Eric: Oh, my God, this is great. So, we're free to go?
Police Officer #2: Yeah. Which one are you?
Eric: Eric Forman.
Police Officer #2: Forman? Is your dad Red Forman?
Eric: Uh... Yeah.
Police Officer #2: You poor bastard.
Eric: Well, thank you.

Eric: Hey, Dad.
Red: Hold it. [clears throat] About the car. I know it was... And I, uh... You see, when I was a kid, uh... Maybe I came down... Here's the keys.
Eric: Thank you, sir.
Red: So where you been all night?
Eric: Prison.
Red: Yeah, okay. [chuckles]

Eric: You guys enjoying your burgers? Got enough pickles on them? That's how Fatso Burger does them. Lots and lots of pickles. Yes, yes.
All: Yeah. It's great.
Eric: Got enough room back there?
Kelso: Actually, it's a little bit crowded.
Eric: Good. That's the way it should be. Yes, yes. I feel like going to the movies. Where do you guys wanna go?
Hyde: Let's go to the reservoir.
Eric: Movies it is. Yes, yes.
Donna: I kind of feel like going to the reservoir.
Eric: Reservoir it is. Yes, yes.