Jackie: You know, all this cleaning is actually kind of satisfying. You know, I bet my maid is thrilled she is not a doctor in her country any more.

Fez: Well, I cleaned all the dirty limerick off the wall. I don't know where this Nantucket place is, but the men there are disgusting.

Hyde: Man, I should not have thrown a party here. It's weird, but I feel kind of guilty. I've never felt guilty before in my life! Not even when the judge said, "You're guilty."

Donna: Mr. Forman, your wife just saw me and Randy kissing in the driveway.
Bob: Whoo-hoo!
Donna: Then she yelled at us, so I told her she was a bad mother and that Eric moved away to Africa to get away from her. Now she's really mad at me.
Red: Well, of course she's mad at you, Donna. You can't just go around telling people the truth!

Red: Well, thanks, Donna. Now you've made it worse. I have to go and fix this now. Because if I have to stay here another day with your dad, I'm gonna end up killing myself. No offense.
Bob: How was that no offense? You should have just said, "Offense."
Red: Fine. Offense.
Bob: Okay, go. But you're gonna miss out what I'm making for dinner. Five different meats.

Fez: Oh, Hyde, you're such a baby. "Oh, I'm Hyde and I just lost the trust of the father I just met and..." Oh, here comes the waterworks again.

Red: So, I hear you and Donna had quite the flare-up. You wanna tell me what happened?
Kitty: Well, your guess is as good as mine. I saw Donna and Randy in the driveway, I politely said, "Good day," and out of nowhere she just bit my head off.
Red: Completely unprovoked?
Kitty: Completely.
Red: So just like all of our fights?
Kitty: Exactly.
Red: Yeah, well, look, Kitty, what happened with Eric and Donna is normal. People... People move away. They move on. Just like you did when I went off to war and you dated Roger Silverman.
Kitty: You knew about that?
Red: Yeah, well, you guys probably shouldn't have gone on American Bandstand.
Kitty: Well, my situation was different. You were overseas. I had to keep my options open. Donna's a whore.

Hyde: What do you think, man? Can you fix it?
Leo: I don't know, man. You kind of caught me at a bad time. Right in the middle of Hawaii Five-O.
Jackie: Leo, there's no TV in here.
Leo: That doesn't change the fact that it's on.
Hyde: Look, man, I actually really need your help.
Leo: Okay, I can fix this, man. But I just need to do one thing to prepare.
[cut to Hyde, Jackie and Fez standing behind a seated Leo in the smoke-filled record store]
Leo: Okay, here we go. Gloves. Knife. Napkin. Can't fix a guitar on an empty stomach. [eats sandwich]

Kitty: Oh, come on, Donna. You don't belong with Randy anyway. And just wait, when Eric gets home...
Donna: Mrs. Forman, listen to me! When Eric comes back, we are not getting back together. So you need to get over it.
Kitty: How am I supposed to get over Eric running off to Africa? He was supposed to stay here, marry you and give Red and me three wonderful grandchildren named Ronald, Rose and Kitty Junior. Only everyone will call her Kitkat, so it doesn't get confusing.
Donna: Oh, my God. So you're not mad at me, you're mad at Eric.
Kitty: Of course I'm mad at Eric. It just... It wasn't supposed to turn out this way.
Donna: Mrs. Forman, I'll always care about Eric. But it's over.
Kitty: I know.
Donna: So... Kitty Junior?
Kitty: [laughs] Or Kitty the Second. Whichever you prefer, it's your child.

Fez: Hey, where's my kiss? I'm the one who wiped off all the graffiti.
Hyde: What?
Fez: Yeah, some jerk named Peter Frampton wrote his name on it.
Hyde: Fez, you moron! This is Peter Frampton's guitar!
Fez: Who?
Hyde: Peter Frampton! The talentless idiot that a million brainless teenage girls made a star.
Jackie: I love Peter Frampton.
Hyde: A million and one.