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Randy: Hey, I saw this "Help Wanted" sign outside. Are you still looking?
Hyde: Uh... Leo, were you trying to hire somebody?
Leo: No. Yesterday, I was having a hard time opening up a jar of pickles, so I put the "Help Wanted" sign up. You're too late, man, I found something else to eat.
Kelso: [groans] Why do they make the lid so tight? It's just pickles!
Randy: So you're not hiring? [sighs] That's a bummer. 'Cause I gotta say, if this is your idea of a staff meeting, I'd work my butt off!
Hyde: What the hell, man, I'm in a giving mood right now. You can have the job and do all the work that Leo wasn't doing. And, Leo, I can't fire you, man. You're too awesome. New guy, you're hired. Leo, you're not fired. Jobs for everyone! Well, that was hard, but it had to be done.

Donna: Whoa, Jackie, that is quite an outfit. Does it come with a pimp?
Jackie: Donna, this is my man-catcher dress. It's scientifically designed to make men want me while at the same time knowing they could never really have me.
Fez: Oh, everyone loves a tease.

Man: [to Donna] Hi, I'm Mark. Wow, you have one of the prettiest smiles I've ever seen.
Fez: Oh, thank you. Well, the secret is to brush with baking soda.

Kelso: Hey, Samantha, you should have seen your dopey husband today. He was supposed to fire Leo, but then he wussed out and hired a new guy, too. It's like the time I went to break up with this chick, and I ended up doing it with her and her mom.

Kelso: Hey, Sam, let me ask you a question about being a stripper. Can I see your boobs?

Jackie: Mark, is it? I don't know where you're from, but I'll have you know, I am the catch of Point Place.
Donna: That's true. That's how she signed my yearbook.
Jackie: Hey, come back here! Nobody ignores Jerky Backhart! I am adorable, I am engaging, and I'm damn likable! And if you're too stupid to see that, then I feel sorry for you. [Jackie's dress slips] 'Cause if anyone should be the center of attention here, it's me.
Donna: Jackie! [whispers in Jackie's ear]
Jackie: What the hell's a "boobs out"? [screams]

Kelso: Whoa. So if you're not gonna fire Randy, and you're not gonna fire Leo, I got a question. Can I see your wife's boobs?

Hyde: This new guy Randy is awesome. Today he was looking over the records, and he figured out it would be easier to find things if we just alphabetized them.

Kitty: Not to mention the fact that I saw a TV movie where someone like you moved in and killed the whole family.

Jackie: Uh, Steven, I just wanna let you know that we're through. If you're gonna go off and marry someone you don't even know, then we can't be together anymore.
Hyde: Okay. Well, I guess you always have Kelso to fall back on. Or Fez.
Fez: Hey, what? Did I hear my name? Are Jackie and I going to do it? Can somebody tell me what's going on?
Jackie: Steven, I have been so stupid for so long. I tried to force Michael to marry me, I tried to force you to marry me. And last night, I threw myself at some unavailable creep I didn't even like.
Kelso: Well, now you've hit a new low. Throwing yourself at some guy on Rosh Hashanah.
Jackie: So you know what? I am done making an ass of myself for you. Or any other guys. In fact, I'm done with guys completely.
Kelso: Hear that, Hyde? We screwed her up so bad she's switching to chicks! How awesome are we!