Kitty: Midge, please come out so you can talk to Bob.
Midge: [o.s.] I can't do that, Kitty.
Kitty: You mean you don't know how? The lock is on the doorknob.
Midge: No, I mean I'm not coming out. But thank you, I see it now.

[circle:]
Hyde: Okay, I'm starting to shake off this whole flowchart thing. Can't even remember what a flowchart is. Can't even remember what I just said. Hey, which one of you jerks put this tie on me?
Jackie: Steven, focus, you're a businessman. You love work and money and me. Hold on to that. Oh, you know what? You're gonna forget. I'll write it down.
Fez: Oh, you guys missed a glorious trenching. Eric's tiny butt gleaming in the moonlight, shining brighter than the brightest star. It was like a Disney movie.
Donna: Yeah. Eric's rear end is white. Sometimes I can't even tell if he's wearing underwear. Tonight, in that jail cell, he's gonna glow like a little lightning bug.
Hyde: Forman's in jail and I spent my entire night at a cocktail party? I gotta go break some laws or I'm never gonna forgive myself. Hey, which one of you jerks put this tie on me?

Donna: Well, after a long night of hashing things out, we all decided that my parents are better off apart. So we took my mom to the airport this morning.
Red: She headed back to California?
Donna: I hope so. I taped the ticket to her purse.

Red: You're coming home in your underwear again? I'm gonna paint some damn pants on you.
Eric: Okay, but in my defense, this time I took off my pants by choice.
Red: I don't know where we went wrong with you. We take you to church, we try to raise you to be a decent human being, and yet you turn out to be a bottomless deviant.
Kitty: [enters] Okay, Red, the shower's running. [Red shakes his head] You promised.
Red: Stick my eggs in the oven. I'll be back in five minutes.

Eric: You know what? I'm gonna trench a yard. Just, not if it's one of those pranks that involves heights or touching bugs. I'm not... I... No, I won't touch a bug.
Kelso: No, you just park your car on someone's yard, and then you step on the gas, throw it in drive and tear up the lawn. Then you go get fries and talk about how awesome it was.
Eric: You know what, you guys? I'm gonna trench Old Man Shinsky's yard. In fact, I'm gonna trench that yard like no yard has been trenched in the history of yard trenching. Are you with me?
Kelso: Yeah.
Fez: Whatever.
Eric: I said, are you with me?
Kelso: Yeah.
Fez: Whatever.
Eric: Yeah! That's what I like to hear.

Kelso: Hey, thanks for inviting us to your party, Mrs. Forman. We can't stay, though, 'cause Eric's gonna trench... A coat. A trench coat.

Midge: So, what's the occasion, Kitty?
Kitty: According to Cosmo's latest quiz, I have medium to low self-esteem. So the article suggested that I should throw a party in celebration of me.
Kelso & Jackie: I've done that.
Kelso: You have, too?
Jackie: Isn't it fun?
Kelso: Yeah.
Jackie: I know.

Eric: Okay, guys, I've been thinking about this trenching thing, and it's a little boring, but I think I figured out a way to Formanize it.
Jackie: You mean make it more boring?
Eric: No, I don't. I mean, I'm gonna get out of the car, moon Old Man Shinsky and then trench the yard. That's right, you've all now been witness to the invention of the moon and trench.
Donna: I don't know, Eric. It seems risky. I mean, you're not fast, you're uncoordinated and you're easily tripped. I mean, if you get out of the car, you're a dead man.
Kelso: No, no, no. Not with me backing him up as his first lieutenant.
Eric: Oh, um, actually, you're not my first lieutenant. Donna's my first lieutenant.
Donna: I went from fiancee to first lieutenant? What a year!

Hyde: Man, you got Forman, Kelso, an old man and a naked butt. This could go the kind of wrong people write books about. I can't believe I'm not going.
Jackie: That's right. See, Steven decided he'd rather hang out with his father at Kitty's grown-up cocktail party.
Kelso: [high-pitched voice] "I'm Hyde. I'm going to a cocktail party."
Fez: [high-pitched voice] "I'm Hyde. I'm going to a party with cocktails." [both make kissy noises]
Hyde: What the hell are you guys doing?
Kelso: I don't know but it's funny.

Hyde: Hey, WB, come on in.
William Barnett: Hey, Steven, I thought I had the wrong night. You white folks throw a really quiet party.
Hyde: Yeah, wait till they bring out the onion dip, all hell breaks loose. Hey, I want you guys to meet my dad. This is William Barnett. He owns a chain of record stores.
Jackie: He's rich.
William Barnett: Jackie, I don't know if I'd say... Ah, what the hell, yeah, I am.