Kitty: No, no, no! Why are you here? You can't be here!
Eric: Oh, right, I'll go outside, then I'll come back, and you guys yell, "Surprise!" and I'll yell, "You got me!"
Kitty: Eric, honey, there's no party.
Eric: What? How can there not be a party? Mom, what is more important than your only son's 18th birthday?
Kitty: Okay, fine. For the first time since his heart attack, your father and I are having intercourse. [all groan]
Fez: Sexy.
Red: [at the top of the stairs] Okay, let's get this over with.
Kitty: Happy birthday. [runs upstairs]

Eric: Kelso, Donna and I are fine, okay? I mean, she's waiting until the very last bus to go to school tomorrow so we can spend every minute of my birthday together. We're just gonna make this work.
Fez: Eric, long-distance relationships don't work. Just ask my girlfriend back home.
Eric: Fez, you have a girlfriend back home?
Fez: No, don't you listen? Long-distance relationships don't work.

Kitty: Well, hello, handsome.
Red: Boy, am I tired. I think I'll just go to bed.
Kitty: Red Forman, what has gotten into you?
Red: I just think that there are more appropriate ways for us to spend our time. Uh... like you knit and I'll whittle. That's a nice life.
Kitty: Red, I know what this is about. You're afraid of getting physical so soon after your heart attack.
Red: Kitty, you know I love what we do but.... am I willing to die for it?
Kitty: Now, you just relax. Nurse Kitty is here to take care of you.