Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.

Kitty: No, no, no! Why are you here? You can't be here!
Eric: Oh, right, I'll go outside, then I'll come back, and you guys yell, "Surprise!" and I'll yell, "You got me!"
Kitty: Eric, honey, there's no party.
Eric: What? How can there not be a party? Mom, what is more important than your only son's 18th birthday?
Kitty: Okay, fine. For the first time since his heart attack, your father and I are having intercourse. [all groan]
Fez: Sexy.
Red: [at the top of the stairs] Okay, let's get this over with.
Kitty: Happy birthday. [runs upstairs]

Eric: Kelso, Donna and I are fine, okay? I mean, she's waiting until the very last bus to go to school tomorrow so we can spend every minute of my birthday together. We're just gonna make this work.
Fez: Eric, long-distance relationships don't work. Just ask my girlfriend back home.
Eric: Fez, you have a girlfriend back home?
Fez: No, don't you listen? Long-distance relationships don't work.

Kitty: Well, hello, handsome.
Red: Boy, am I tired. I think I'll just go to bed.
Kitty: Red Forman, what has gotten into you?
Red: I just think that there are more appropriate ways for us to spend our time. Uh... like you knit and I'll whittle. That's a nice life.
Kitty: Red, I know what this is about. You're afraid of getting physical so soon after your heart attack.
Red: Kitty, you know I love what we do but.... am I willing to die for it?
Kitty: Now, you just relax. Nurse Kitty is here to take care of you.