Bob: Red, you don't seem like the type of guy who'd get a dog. Being that you're unfriendly.
Red: Yeah, I know. I just wanted to do something to cheer Kitty up.
Bob: Well, if you really wanted to cheer her up, you should've bought her a banjo.
Red: A banjo, Bob?
Bob: You can't hold a banjo and not smile.
Red: You can't hold a potato chip and not smile.

Eric: Okay, you guys know more about relationships than my moron friends, so I have a question about me and Donna.
Red: No. No more about you and Donna. You need to be thinking about your future: college, getting out of my house.
Eric: But Donna is my future.
Kitty: Honey, we know you love Donna, but you two are so on again and off again. You're probably gonna be off again sometime soon. Won't they, Schotzie? Yes, they will!
Red: How about a career? Have you even given thought to what you're gonna do with your life?
Eric: Yes, Donna and I-
Kitty: I think he should be a pharmacist.
Red: Now there's an idea. You can count. There's no heavy lifting. You ought to see him try to wrestle with that big mop down at the store. [laughs]
Eric: I don't see what any of this has to do with me and Donna.
Kitty: Oh, honey, but you would be such a good pharmacist. Your slender fingers are perfect for picking up tiny pills. Aren't they, Schotzie? Yes, they are! [laughs] Did you see that? He just nodded.

Eric: Donna. You, me, tonight at the water tower. Make yourself foxy, 'cause you're getting something pretty special.
Donna: Really? A present? I will get foxy.
Jackie: Oh, and Donna? Donna, don't forget to wear flats so that Eric can feel like the boy.